black tide. | ✓

0.8; runaway

"and i promised myself i wouldn't let you complete me." - is there somewhere, halsey. 

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(19:32)

Aiden: charlie, what's up??

Aiden: where'd you go? :((

(21:12)

Aiden: you looked like you were having fun with luke

Aiden: please answer me.

(22:34)

Aiden: just send a text to let me know you're okay, please.

Aiden: i just need to know you're safe. xx

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Luke: im sorry

Luke: im such a fucking idiot

Luke: aiden's worried about you. you really mean a lot to him, y'know? 

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I managed to last a grand total of 10 days without seeing or speaking to Aiden. 

It was hard at first, but after the initial difficulty of ignoring my best friend - which included declining every call from him, ignoring every text and avoiding him at school - it started to get slightly easier, and the pain I got from not seeing him every day began to fade away bit by bit. 

When Luke kissed me, all I could think about was him. Aiden. What he was doing, whether he was watching, how he would react when he found out about this, what would happen to our friendship. As soon as the kiss broke apart, I started muttering spouts of nonsense, rambling on to Luke about how I couldn't do it, how I couldn't be with him like that. 

Thankfully, the curly haired cutie understood instantly, and although he radiated disappointment, I knew deep down that he didn't truly feel anything when we locked lips; neither of us saw sparks, or had a hoard of butterflies erupting in the stomach. It wasn't like the ones you see in the movies - it was just about as platonic as a peck on the cheek from your grandma on Thanksgiving. 

After realising my feelings for Aid - ones that I wasn't quite prepared to act on just yet - I basically soared off the Ferris wheel when it came to a halt, ignoring the questioning calls I got from Aiden, Luke and the rest of their friends. Well, everyone apart from Lola, who was too engrossed in whatever she was liking on Instagram in that moment. 

The first day was the hardest, the temptation to pick up my phone and dial his number straight away gnawing away at me every second, the temptation just to hear his voice again, even though it had only been a few hours. In the end I turned off my phone and shoved it deep into the dark abyss of my school bag, down under the masses of textbooks and folders, and didn't retrieve it until the next day, and by that time I had several texts; dozens from Aiden, and a few from Luke, who'd exchanged numbers with me whilst we were queuing. 

On the second day of ignoring him, I visited Ali, with some hope that he would show up, and we would "accidentally" meet each other there. It was just an excuse to seem him, less than 24 hours in and I was already missing him; but he didn't show. 

The third day came around, and instead of moping around sulking about something that I was in control of, I decided to be productive - which consisted of sitting in front of a pen and paper trying to force myself to do homework, but instead inevitably just procrastinating and staring at it for an hour, and eventually just giving up and going to sleep early.