Choices || Calum Hood

Anywhere But Here

"...I just can't believe this happened and I finally broke down..."

I spread out the contents of what was in my locker- I have a few pairs of jeans, shirts, some bras an underwear, a bag of make up and thankfully some cash. The vibration coming from my back pocket scares the shit out of me. My heart almost jumping out of my throat. I reach around and pull out my phone- I'm surprised it's stayed back there this whole time and it's not cracked. Go team iPhone. The screen flashes with texts from Luke, Ashton, Michael, Lily, and Calum. A few notifications were from social media, but they didn't interest me in the slightest. It was crazy how life continued to move forward even though it feels as if my world just ended.

The texts were all basically the same from each boy, all of them asking what was going on between Calum and I. Michael even added; "u ok? need me to take out the trash ? an by trash I mean cal." Normally, this would have been funny, but since my father just took me out like the trash it only makes my body ache.

Taking my phone, makeup bag and some new clothes I make my way into the bathroom. I turn the shower on as hot as it'll go, the room instantly steaming up. I stand in front of the floor length mirror on the back of the bathroom door as I slowly peel my clothes off.

I twist my body around counting the numerous bruises already forming on my body. I had a nasty one on my back- presumably from the door handle. My knees were read and I had small bruises on my collar bone area and my upper arms. My face has it the worst. My eye and cheek are puffy and a dark purple- blue color. It's also the hardest to hide.

Slowly I step into the shower the scalding water cascading over me. It was uncomfortable at first. I didn't know if the pain from my skin burning or from the beating. Soon I grew used to the temperature, and it even felt good. I rip open the little soaps that's provided and I rub it against my body. Covering every inch of my skin, over and over. This need to wash my skin clean of today's events becomes an urgent desire. I can't seem to wash fast enough. I can't seem to wash this feeling away.

Another round of sobs echo from my ribcage. A mix of desperation, anger and shower water fall from my face. I continue to roughly quarantine my skin until I run out of soap. I slam my fist into the shower wall. Once again faced with the realization of what's happened. I let out a few frustrated shouts before turning the water off. I cannot allow myself to be unstable around Bella and Mason. They can't know, and they can't go back there. I suck it up, because after today I can't allow myself to fall apart. I can't afford to fall apart.

I grab the towels and wrap one around my hair and another around my body. Carefully, I dry off my body- which is completely red from the water. The shower didn't do much for my appearance- I still look like a train wreck. Taking my clothes I do my best to slide them on, but it takes a lot of effort and I wish I had just left some comfy sweats instead of these damn skinny jeans.

I settle down with all the make up laid out on the counter, it's all mostly used for work and it's still not enough to make me presentable to go outside- but I do my best to work with what I have. I load my eye with concealer and foundation and powder. Layer after layer of my gently patting my face to try and take away some of the dark bruise.

The opening of the room door makes me jump. I'm frozen on the spot, listening for something that could hint to danger, but all I hear is laughter and Lily. I quickly lock the bathroom door, not wanting her to see me because no amount of makeup I use could hide my eye from her.

"I'm meeting Jared for dinner! Text me babe!" I hear Lily shout as she leaves. Relief floods through me. I turn back and quickly double check to make sure my eye is somewhat covered, before stepping out of the bathroom.