A Part Of The Family

Chapter 15: Where I Belong

As soon as I stepped through the front door, I quickly made my way up the stairs to my room and shut my door. I don't know what happened, but I completely broke down. I slid down my door until I was sat on the floor, my knees in front of my face and my head in my hands. No matter how much I tried, the tears kept coming. More and more by the second, flooding my hands. I just feel like a piece of worthless shit! I can't please anyone. Everyone wants something from me, but I can't please them...or anyone. Why am I still even here? I should of ended this when I had the knife in my hand. I slowly got up and made my way toward my bed, but collapsing half way into a heap on the floor. I shook uncontrollably from my cries, unable to stop the waterfall pouring from my eyes. My wrists begged for a razor. I haven't relapsed once, but right now I didn't care; No one cares. Even though I was weak, I stood up and made my way toward my bathroom. I took out my bottle and a razor; I then began. After gulping down some of my drink; the razor pierced my skin, just like it did before. Not long after, the alcohol started taking effect on me. The more I drank, the more the numbness. The more I cut, the closer I got to my final destination; Death. I could literally feel my life pouring out with the blood; It felt good. Taking another couple of gulps, I put even more pressure on the blade, wanting for this to be over and done with. My whole body was numb. I couldn't feel the tears pouring from my eyes; I couldn't feel the blood gushing out my wrist. All I could feel was the hands of death, lightly picking me up and taking me away.

"Ellie?" Nicki knocked me out of the hands of death and I fell to the ground. Now I wasn't just upset; I was furious I couldn't get to my destination as quickly or as freely as I could have done a second ago.

"Fuck off!" From the lack of life, my scream had turned to a whisper before it could even pass through my lips.

"Ellie, what doing?" She sounded petrified, as if she knew what I was doing.

"Leaving for good," The more my life ran out my wrist, the more harder it became to speak or move...or do anything.

"W-where?" I could tell she was crying, still petrified of what I was doing.

"Wh...where I dese...serve to be...Hell," I was slowly slipping away. Once again, I could feel the hands of deaths pick me up from the bath I lay in. There is only one place I belong; Hell.

"Please unl-lock the d-door," Nicki begged from my room, the room that will be the dead girls room very soon. I grabbed the pills that laid out on the side of the bath. My hand traveled toward my mouth. The pills touched my lips, I parted them and let the pills fall into my mouth. I drank the last of my drink, washing the pills down; all 9 of them. Nicki's cries began getting more and more distant, the further away death carried me. My eyes fell shut under the heavy weight of my eyelids. This is where I want to be, be longed to be; Dead.

Hi,

You probably hate me right now. 1, For such a short chapter. 2, For the actual chapter. I didn't plan on this to happen, I just typed what came into my mind. Don't bother asking me if she's gonna live or anything like that because my lips are sealed. Anyway, that's all I have to say, so thanks for reading :)