You know what sucks? Not being able to buy myself a pair of leggings.
Hi, I'm Andy Hemmings, eighteen and leggingless. I live in a crappy two bedroom apartment with my lame twin brother, Luke. The only reason I agreed to move in with him was because the apartment's in Yonkers and I like the pizza around here. We've been coming here since we were little and getting pizza from the same pizzeria with our mom.
Anyways, today was one of those days where Luke and I venture out together to the grocery store and buy a whole load of crap for the week. Usually it ends up being frozen meals and chips since the both of us don't actually know how to cook. But, if it does end up being something cookable, it's chicken flavored Ramen Noodles and Ninja Turtle shaped Mac N' Cheese.
So right now it's twelve in the morning and neither of us have gotten out of bed yet, so I guess I'll be the first. I slid out of my bed and shuffled out of my room and into the kitchen. I looked in the fridge and oh? Nothing left? What a surprise. I check the cabinets and find a jar of pickles that haven't been opened yet. Score! I walk over to the little round table we have as a dining table and drag a chair to the cabinet because lord knows I was never going to reach. I step up on the chair and grab the pickles, but they slip out of my hand and drop onto the floor.
"NOOOO!!!!" I yell and instantly Luke comes out of his room with a plastic butter knife.
"What happened?!" Luke shouts still half asleep. He drops his butter knife and walks over to the 'dining table' to sit, his eyes drooping closed as he does.
"Nothing, I just dropped our last bit of food that's all!" I say getting upset because I actually really like pickles.
His head shoots up from being on the table, "NO MORE FOOD?!?" He screams. I nod and stand there whilst glancing at the mess and still standing on the chair.
He gets up, grabs the phone from the wall, and presses the speed dial button which can only mean-
"Hello, Joe's?" Luke speaks into the phone.
"Luke! We can't order pizza! We need the money to buy groceries." I say and he just shoos me with his hand.
"Luke Robert Hemmings...make sure you get Sicilian." I say and he nods saying my order into the phone.
A minute later he hangs up the phone and finally spots the mess on the floor. He bends down, picks up a pickle, and then eats it.
"Luke! What the hell?!?! There's glass all over that!" I yell at him and he just shrugs and continues to eat the pickle.
I sigh and throw my hands in the air. I jump down from the chair and walk away to my room. "Clean up the mess when you're finished eating glass." I yell behind me.
I go into my room and plop onto my bed, but remembering to grab my laptop before I do. I turn over on my stomach, open up my laptop, and go onto tumblr. One new notification-wow I'm so popular. I open it up and someone just liked the picture I took of Luke and I when we went to Joe's yesterday- yes, pizza again. Shortly after I saw the notification, another one came up from the same person and they commented on the same picture. 'Your brother is so hot!' Of course. Just another person coming on my blog just for butthead mcghee.
"ANDY! MICHAEL'S COMING OVER!" Luke screams from the kitchen and I squeal with excitement, but try to play it cool so Luke doesn't think that sound was me.
"WHY?" I yell back.
"BECAUSE!" He yells again. This is usually how our conversations go, him screaming from the other side of the apartment for me to get him toilet paper and then I scream for him to get it himself.
