A Dream, a Song, and Some Awkward Moments: X Factor Fanfiction

A Dream, a Song, and Some Awkward Moments

My palms are sweating horrendously - far from anything close to normal palm perspiration.  I wipe them off on my skirt for the fifteenth time in the past five minutes. I'm excited, but oh so nervous.  I know I can sing, though. I know I have it in me somewhere to be at the top. It's in there somewhere.

My boyfriend Nate sits to the right of me, unselfishly holding my sweaty hand. My mother gently rubs my back, trying to calm me down. She's here for me; she knows how much I want this. I've dreamt of this ever since I heard a song for the very first time. I've wanted this even when I was on the stage in kindergarten, singing to an audience of 100.  I knew I've wanted this since I got the courage to sing in front of my youth group. I knew I've wanted this when I heard an applause and felt the adrenaline rush through my veins as I hit the last high note, making me feel like I've done something right, like I'm bringing joy.

"Cassidy, how are you sweetie?" My dad reaches across the space between us and pats my knee. I look at his aging hazel eyes, a reflection of my own. The laugh lines crease around the edges as he smiles to reassure me.

"Just really nervous, Dad." I smile back weakly. I just want this to go well. It's my dream.

"You'll do great, kiddo.  I know you will. "

I nod and try to steady my shaky breaths and my twiddling thumbs. I look around the room, taking everything in.

Some people are showing off in the corner, hitting high notes, crooning out hit pop songs. Some have the obvious star look. They're in high-heeled boots and have bright ruby red lipstick. Some guys have spiked up hair and attractive smiles. I sit here in my knee-length floral skirt and my chambray shirt. I look like a wholesome small town girl, with my hair falling around my shoulders in cute little ringlets. I'm cute, but my baby blue flats, my light pink lip gloss on my seventeen year old face, and my love for acoustic music only scream "Cute and sensible." Surely not the glamorous pop star that they're searching for.

A woman who seems to be in her late twenties walks out of the hallway leading to backstage. She holds a clipboard and is wearing a headset. She looks at a paper and begins to call out numbers. "201002,201003...."

She goes on, but I space out. What if they hate me? What if I forget the words? What If I'm off key? What if I trip? What if I -

"Cassidy!" My dad almost yells at me. I quickly jolt back to reality. "You need to go back."

I look down at the sticker plastered to my shirtfront. 201007. The lady must have called my number. I unsteadily rise from my seat with the help of Nate. Once I'm standing, he wraps his arm around my waist as we begin to walk backstage. He's taller than me by about six inches, so he leans over and plants a soft kiss on the top of my head. He says softly, "They won't know what hit 'em, Cass."

I smile up at him and try to shake away my jitters. I need to be confident. I need to be strong. This is your moment, Cass.

The woman who called us back leads us all to the area backstage. THE area backstage, where the families watch on and wait to hear the fate of their loved one's singing career. I see several people sitting around. One woman is crying with a man trying to comfort her. Another woman and man are singing quietly in the corner going over pitches. Several girls around my age are at the line of mirrors, caking on even more makeup.  I squeeze Nate's hand and let go, heading over there myself.

I notice a few hairs out of place, so I pin those back better.  My eyes still look okay.  I went for simple brown eyeliner and mascara, just to lengthen my lashes.  I usually don't wear makeup. It's a waste of time.

The girl to the left of me says snottily, " What are you wearing?" she scoffs as she eyes my ensemble.  She's wearing a belly shirt and barely there shorts. She's probably trying to compensate for a less than stellar voice, or she just thinks this is an audition for America's Next Top Model.  Either way, it's tacky.

I just shake my head and walk back to my family and Nate, who smiles at me and takes my hand.  He whispers into my ear, "You look beautiful."

I can't help myself from blushing.  My blush gives him a satisfied smile, and my mother smiles at the two of us.

The four of us sit down in some chairs and wait for my name to be called. When it is, Nate helps me up and kisses me on the forehead.  "You'll do great.  I love you."

"I love you too."

I turn to my parents who both give me giant hugs. I then walk to the side of the stage and wait for my cue to go on.

I'm ready.

I concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other as I make my way onto the spacious stage.  The giant X is lit up behind me, and I make my way to center stage, where the X that I have to stand on is.  I stop on the designated spot and look up.  I can't see much in front of me; the lights are too bright, but I can see the four judges perfectly. I give a little wave," Hello," I say cheerfully.

"Hello," Simon says.

"Hello, and what's your name and how old are you?" Demi asks.

"I am Cassidy Lynn, and I'm seventeen, and I'm from Marco, Missouri ," I say, still unwavering. I'm surprised at the strength I'm exhibiting.

"Hi, Cassidy, and why do you think you have the X Factor?" asks Paulina.

"I'm a very determined person, and I've been in love with singing since I could make noise."

I earn a small laugh from the crowd. At least they like me a bit.

"All right, Cassidy, and what will you be singing for us?" Kelly asks.

"I'll be singing, "Gravity" by Sarah Bareilles."

The music begins, and I lose myself in the words:

-------------------------------------------

Something always brings me back to you

It never takes too long

No matter what I say or do

I still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone

You hold me without touch

You keep me without chains

I never wanted anything so much

Than to drown in your love and not feel your rain

Set me free, leave me be

I don't wanna fall another moment into your gravity

Here I am and I stand so tall

I'm just the way I'm supposed to be

But you're on to me and all over me

You loved me 'cause I'm fragile

When I thought that I was strong

But you touch me for a little while

And all my fragile strength is gone

Set me free, leave me be

I don't wanna fall another moment into your gravity

Here I am and I stand so tall

I'm just the way I'm supposed to be

But you're on to me and all over me

I live here on my knees

As I try to make you see

That you're everything I think I need

Here on the ground

But you're neither friend nor foe

Though I can't seem to let you go

The one thing that I still know

Is that you're keeping me downYou're keeping me down

You're on to me, on to me and all over

Something always brings me back to you

It never takes too long...

..............

I exit my world, the world that only exists when i'm performing, and I look up. Everyone is standing. Every judge is grinning wildly.