A Dream, a Song, and Some Awkward Moments: X Factor Fanfiction

Chapter 10: Butterflies

I head down to breakfast after I'm done on the phone.  On the elevator ride downstairs, I think over my conversation with my big brother.  I miss him so much, and it's crazy that something could happen to him at any given minute.  I've always known his being in the military is risky. Of course it is, he's on the front lines of danger often. It's difficult to think about, but it's true.  Any day could be the last time I get to talk to him, and it scares me.  At least he's doing what he loves though. He wanted to be an army man ever since he was little.  He'd ask Mom to by him camo coats and he wanted a pair of combat boots for Christmas when he was ten.  I remember that because I was six and I really wanted a princess play castle.  We both got what we wanted that year, and I remember when spring came along, he would sit in my play castle with me and pretend that he was my palace guard.  It was fun, and I'll never forget it.

I think we still have my princess play castle somewhere. Of course it's been disassembled and stored away in the backyard shed, but it's still there, and years down the road, maybe my parents will get it out again for some grandkids to play in.  Wouldn't that be something?

The elevator dings and opens up to the front lobby. I turn right and head for the breakfast area. Today though, instead of filling myself to the brim, I just grab an apple. I can feel the nerves churning in my stomach, and adding a ton of food to that won't end well.

Chase is sitting where he sat yesterday, and he's sitting with his head propped up on his hand and a steaming cup of coffee sitting untouched next to him.  He looks absolutely exhausted, and when I sit down, it takes him a moment for him to register my presence.

"Hey, Cass," he says.  Then his cheeks turn red because he's obviously recalling the little scene I walked in on very early this morning.

"Hey Chase.  Sleep well?" I ask, biting into my apple. 

He shakes his head and says, "What do you think?" He laughs a wee bit at this, but I can tell he's battling nerves just as I am.  "I'm so nervous about today I can barely function."

"You sure it's not just 'cause you got drunk last night?" I inquire.

"I wasn't that drunk, Cass."

"You remember what I walked in on last night?" I raise an eyebrow.

He turns red again and stutters out, "I.. Um... That would have ended up happening whether I was drunk or not... The booze may have just made it happen sooner."

"So you admit you were drunk?"

"I guess I was a bit... But Arriana was terrible. She's the one who couldn't even walk."

"You know she probably won't even remember what happened right? To her that kiss probably doesn't exist.  Or she would just dismiss it as a dream."

He chuckles a bit, then says, "I guess I'm back to square one then, huh?"

"I think you've been further than square one since you met her, bud," I reassure him. "It's meant to be."  I sigh; I hope I'm right because I felt the same way about Nate and me, but look how wrong I ended up being about that?

"I hope so," he smiles.

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The rest of my morning consists of literally dragging Arriana's hungover hind end out of bed, getting ready for the results today, and calling my Mom and Dad to check in with them and to let them know what's happening today.  They're happy and seem to be just about as nervous as me, even though my future is in the balance, and theirs aren't. 

I tell them I talked to Aaron this morning, and my Mom seems glad that he used his fifteen minutes to call me instead of them because they know just how much I miss them.  I also tell them the bare minimum of Nate's little cheating escapade.  I can tell that my dad almost bursts a blood vessel in his forehead just by the way he sputters when he's trying to reply to me.  I can tell he's nowhere near happy, but my Mom makes him get off the phone before he goes too crazy.

"Good luck today, sweetie." My mom says once Dad's left the room. "Call me as soon as you find out.  I love you so much." I can tell she's crying a bit.

"Mom, don't cry.  I'll be home in two days no matter what I hear today, so don't worry okay? Don't cry, please." My nose begins to run as my eyes leak a couple tears. I wipe them away with the back of my hand. "God, I'm crying now," I laugh a bit.

My mom does too.  "I'll let you go, sweetie.  I love you."

"Love you too, Mom." I smile.  We disconnect the call, and I set my phone down as I recover from yet another emotionally taxing phone call.

"Cassidy!" A much more awake Arriana calls from the bathroom.  She's currently putting some sparkly hoop earrings in, and her hair is all done up.  "We need to leave in ten minutes."

"Okay," I say as I stand up to put on a little makeup so a makeup lady doesn't attack me with a foundation brush like the other day. That was a horrific experience that I don't wish to relive.

I put on a little bit of foundation, and a bit of mascara, and then I'm ready to go. My hair luckily cooperated this morning, and it's wavy and pretty.  I'm wearing a floral dress and cowgirl boots. My American MidWest is definitely shining through.

Arriana's wearing high waisted shorts and an LA tshirt with some heels.  We're both ready to go now, and the butterflies take over.  I feel like I'm about to keel over as we're riding the elevator down. I need to hold on to the railings on the sides of the elevator as we're descending.  Arriana just stands and looks at the floor, lost in thought. 

When we reach the ground floor, Chase is sitting in one of the chairs in the lobby.  We walk to him, and he looks up at Arriana with a sparkle in his eye.  They both blush, and give each other a tentative "Hey."

I haven't asked Arriana if she remembered anything from last night, so I have no idea if the kiss she and Chase shared was nonexistent to her or not.  Either way, we have to get going, so I try corral the three of us to the bus.

The bus ride isn't silent. Everyone is talking to each other like it's the last time they'll ever speak with each other, which it very well may be.

However, the tension in the air is so thick, a knife wouldn't be able to cut it.

When we arrive, the tension is still ever present.  I look to the right of me to see Arriana grasping onto Chase's hand like her life depended on it. I would take a moment to lose my mind over how adorable it is, but I can't focus on anything other than my nerves.  There consuming me, and it takes every ounce of strength and willpower I have to take the twenty steps to the door. 

Once inside, we are sent to the dining room again, where no food is set up like it was the past two days.  They probably see no point to because no one has the appetite anyways.  Butterflies take up any space in my stomach that could possibly be filled by food. 

We know what's going to happen.  They'll call each category to the stage and they'll read off the lucky names, forcing the others to make their way back to their normal lives. 

First the groups are called.  I see the girls from Lightning walk out of the room hand in hand, and then I see Mark walk out with the rest of Breakeven.  I send them a wave as they walk to the stage.

The same goes for the other groups.  Next the over 25's head out, and then the Teens.  Finally, it's our turn.

I walk down the hallway that leads to the stage and for some reason, it looks different.  Maybe it's the way my head i swimming with thought after thought about what may happen.  Soon enough though, it will no longer be a mystery to me.  This is it.