Loving Artemisia (lesbian story)

Chapter 1 - Confession

Anahita

"My princess." Her melodic voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I want to hear this voice calling me everyday but she never said anything more than three words to me.  I came back to my senses and turned around to face her but soon regretted my sudden action because there were only couple of inches between us. Those green eyes that cause million butterflies dance inside of me were now looking at me. How I wish those filty little butterflies to die in these many years. I quickly took one step back and composed myself. Then I realized everyone in the throne room was looking at us, waiting patiently for what? I had no idea because this woman beside me was playing trick in my brain and made me flew away from the reality. She cleared her throat and motioned to my father, king Darius of Persia. He was sitting on his throne waiting for my response. I absentmindly came before him and kneeled down to hear his order.
'Anahita... I asked you do you have someone in mind to be wed with? ' his strong yet smooth voice towards me allured the hall soon followed by generals and administrators whispers. How can I tell him that I'm in love with his general? If she was a man he would gladly grant my wish and make her my wedded husband. But she is she not he.. I know its wrong and as a princess I must wed with a powerful man that can help my brother Xerxes when he inherits father's throne. Those thoughts never failed to broke my heart and the realization that my love will never be approved by my father just kills me alive. Subconsciously I looked at her. As usual her confident yet cold gaze met mine and her perfect eyebrows arched when she saw my now watery eyes.
"My child.. Tell me what's bothering you? " my father's caring voice got my attention.
"N-nothing my king. And forgive me for saying this, but I do not have anyone in mind. I humbly request your highness's more patience. " I stuttered.
He just sent me worried look and dismissed the topic. Darius, my father was always like that he loved me more than my brother even though I took her beloved wife's life to born into this world. Since our mother died because of me, Xerxes became quiet and cold towards everyone. And he eventually lost favor of our father because he believes Xerxes is too weak to become a king to continue his great monarchy of Achaemenid clan.
After the conference, I quickly returned to my chambers, my emotional side took over me and I failed to stop my tears from falling. After I nearly cried before her, I found out that she is going to battle ... again. And this time I don't know whether she will ever come back or not because commander Pilasik, the traitor of our empire who is infamous for his inhumane acts towards his enemies. My father wants his head and the love of my life obliged and promised to fulfill his order.

That night I had a nightmare, she was fighting with a man who looks like a Greek mythological creature. I believe they call it centaur and worst part is her falling figure that paints the ground with her rosy red blood. In the middle of the night I woke up screaming under the light of the full moon. Tears were falling and I could not make myself calm down even after some moments. I concluded that I needed fresh air and next thing I was aware of was sitting at the royal garden staring at the moon that reflects on the pond. Then I saw her again... But I must be hallucinating 'why would she walking in the garden this late at night?' I thought at first and the silly thought of mine made me believe in the lie I made for myself to believe.
She just stood there observing me. Her raven black hair looks like a night sky, her feminine figure resembles a Greek's sculpture of their
goddesses.

"Why you have to be flawlessly perfect? Why cannot I stop thinking about you or imagining you standing here right at this moment? All these years you gave me no peace. You're driving me to insanity..' I yelled at her while crying. The nightmare I witnessed while ago was too real at the point where I failed to realize it is not reality. I sobbed hard and knelt down on my knees. Even though, I'm aware that she can't be mine, the knowledge that some women live together in our empire gives me false hope. It is due to the constant wars that take lives of our men. However,  as a princess I shouldn't be feeling anything towards her and deep down I know she will never return my feelings. If she ever feel the same way I can leave everything behind and live for her. Well even now I am living for her.. I'm living for stealing a glance of her, to admire the beauty of her when we see each other in the throne room, to hear her melodic voice even though we barely talk, to smell her alluring scent as we pass by once in a blue moon. I am living for her and I want to be like this for the rest of my life but now she is going and even the god can't assure her return.

The ray of the sunlight woke me up and I realized I'm in my chambers on my bed. I clearly remember my nightmare and hallucination at the royal garden but somehow I can't make myself remember going back to my chambers. The dark armor cape I found beside me made me wonder whom may it belong to.
'Shadi!!" I summoned my maid and instantly she came out and knelt down to hear my orders.
"Good morning your majesty." She greeted me and I motioned her to get up.
"Tell me Shadi, How did I came back from the garden?" I asked and she bowed once again before answering,
"My princess, almighty general Artemisia carried your highness here while you were sleeping because of I believe tiredness. Forgive me for not taking care of you properly, my lady." She said and again knelt down.
My eyes widen in shock after I heard that my one and only Artemisia carried me to my chambers. It horrified me tremendously when I remember myself shouting at her and saying things that no one shall hear within the palace walls from the princess of Persia. I confessed to her without my knowledge and it was too late to return the time. The consequences of my action terrifies me but since it has happened I shall left it to the hand of fate.