M For Marina: A Larina Fanfiction

TEN

No matter what Marina tells me, there is this certainty, I know she's lying. She does know why last night happened. I mean, how could one not know? I thought about it for a minute, realising how preposterous the idea was.

Maybe she did have feelings for me?

I snapped back into reality, with Marina by my side on that same park bench we sat on yesterday. I took a deep breath and decided to dig deeper for the reason.

Or...maybe I'd just straight out kiss her.

Honestly, it's a win-win situation: I get to know why she slept with me, if she likes me back, and I get to kiss those amazing lips of hers, and Marina--if she likes me back, of course--gets to kiss me too, and she gets to find out that I like her back.

The idea was perfect. So I did it.

Without any warning, I moved in and pressed my lips gently upon hers. But she didn't kiss back.

Oh...

As I pulled away from embarrassment, my mind began rapidly thinking of why Marina might have done what she did last night: I bet it was a dare. Maybe it was to impress a guy. She could have gotten a free drink if she did it. Maybe she was just horny. Or...maybe I led her on. Me.

A wave of nausea washed over me. Sadness, melancholy. Oh, you fool, she doesn't fucking love you! You're an idiot for falling in love with her. Plus, you're not even single. What were you fucking thinking?

"Lana?" Marina gasped, holding her hand to her mouth. "What...what was that?" She looked frightened. I gulped.

"I...I don't know..." I muttered, unsure on what to say. What do I tell her? She'd find the truth ridiculous.

"Is this because of last night and my uncertainty of why I did it?" she asked, in a more confident tone. I didn't even realise that.

"Oh, um, no," I spoke.

"Oh, okay then," she said, only half-convinced.

The park was beautiful but the pain Marina was causing me was too strong. I wanted to get it over with so I could be home.

For the first time in ages, I caught myself missing Jim. I could handle his physical abuse, but this mental pain Marina was giving me was unbearable. Why was it having such an affect on me? Jim hurts me psychologically but I can deal with it. I've never been this weak to it.

I tried changing the subject to music, and she explained to me that she felt she had a deep desire to succeed, and she, too, was struggling in the music industry, but I frankly didn't care. It would have been amazing but I wanted nothing to do with Marina anymore. She was destroying me.

There was an awkward silence that followed. It felt like it lasted forever until Marina broke it.

"Do you want to get an ice cream?" she asked.

"Yeah, sure," I answered, but I didn't really want to.

Marina had chosen this really interesting flavour, whereas I had the lame Ol' Vanilla.

"Vanilla?" Marina asked, amused.

"I know, I'm boring," I said, blushing in embarrassment.

"No, it's cool! So many people go for the interesting flavours because they're unique and intriguing, but you just get vanilla, a flavour that's so left out...yet there you are."

"Oh?" I laughed.

"Yeah, I, like, think it's quite sweet, actually," she giggled.

I couldn't help but burst into a giggle fit. She was so fucking adorable. Ugh.

Once we were served our respective frozen treats, we went for a stroll, talking.

"You know, I'm so glad I met you...and I'm so glad you were so flexible with what happened last night. I thought you'd never forgive me," she went on.

"I'm so glad I met you too," I falsely smiled, as I questioned whether or not I was actually glad to have met her now.

We spent the rest of the day chatting about random stuff while I only half-cared for it all.

Honestly, I'm afraid I might be developing a hatred towards Marina. My feelings towards her--being romantic or not--confuse me entirely. I already have enough on my plate, I didn't need this too.

When we hugged each other goodbye, but Marina's grip felt tighter. Maybe she didn't notice it.

"Lizzy!" greeted a very happy Jim when I walked into our apartment. "I've missed you so much, honey!"

"I missed you too," I said as I kissed him hard. Maybe he could get Marina out of my mind for a bit.

"Let's have sex, baby," I told him.

A huge smile grew on his face, "Okay," he said, starting to strip me naked.

Despite the passionate gestures shared and the sexual intercourse Jim and I, Marina still wouldn't flee from my head. She was stuck to me like bubblegum to a shoe. She was a fucking bubblegum bitch. I had this uncontrollable desire for her and I wanted it out! It was eating me away, even when I'm with Jim.

If only I knew that Marina was lying all this time...

author's note: okay, 867 words! I think I'm turning this into a shorter story...or maybe I'm splitting the chapters in a shorter manner, as everyone wants to see the new chapter (and I want you guys to see) so...hope that it's shortness is okay xx