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IV. Seth

July 24th

"Seth, wakeup."

He shielded his eyes and looked up directly into the face of Lux. They were both on couch and she was wearing the sweater and leggings he had given her last night.

"What do you need?" He was exhausted. How many hours of sleep did I get last night?

Lux looked crestfallen. "It was your boss, he called to ask where you were last night and I told him about the storm and he said 'Tell him he's fired' and hung up."

Seth was wide awake now. He grabbed the phone and walked out of the room holding the six and speed dialing his boss. Well, former boss. The phone rang twice and he was sent to voicemail. He hung up and called back. Again and again he was sent to voicemail. After about seven calls he waited for the voicemail message to finish and spoke.

"Mr. Frederick, it's Seth, I couldn't make it to work last night because of the weather. My friend answered the phone and told me you fired me. I just was hoping that you could call me back when you get this and we could discuss matters. I'd really appreciate it. Thank you, sir." And he hung up.

"I'm so sorry," Lux said from the door.

Seth was beyond pissed but from the tone in her voice she was about to cry and he didn't want to upset her. "It's fine," he said. "I'll figure it out."

"I'm sorry." He could see the tears welling up in her eyes as she said it again and again. Lux curled up on the couch and started sobbing. All she was saying was sorry over and over.

I don't understand. What did I do? I didn't want to upset her. Seth could not contain himself as he ran over to her. Sitting down next to her, he put hand on her shoulder and she looked up.

"I didn't mean to get you in trouble," she said "I'm so so sorry. Please don't hate me."

"I don't." He wrapped his arms around her and she sobbed for a few more minutes. All the while, Seth was telling her it was okay and that she was fine. "You're so amazing don't let this get you down," he said.

"I just feel so bad, you should've just left me there. My mom would've picked me up."

Without a thought Seth placed a hand on her face, took her by her chin and said "But then I wouldn't be able to do this," and he kissed her. She kissed him back and they stood there, her tears still plain on her face and his hand still on her chin. They didn't break the kiss they just held it, enjoying the feel of one another's' lips.

Seth was the one who broke it. "I...uh..." Lux looked up at him confused.

"Why do you look upset?" she asked

"I...it's just...uh," he couldn't speak. I'm not straight. I don't like girls. Why did I kiss you? What am I doing. "I'm sorry. It's nothing."

"It's obviously not nothing, Seth," Lux argued. "Tell me." She didn't demand nor did she ask like it was a question that could go unanswered.

"I'm gay, I don't like girls." It was true, he had never thought of girls sexually. It was always guys.

"I'm not a girl," Lux said almost immediately.

"Then what---"

"I'm genderqueer." And with that the silence and awkwardness in the room was congealing into a thick sheet of tension. Seth had never heard of that. He sat there confused as ever and Lux continued.

"Genderqueer - a person who does not subscribe to conventional gender distinctions but identifies with neither, both, or a combination of male and female genders. In my case I usually identify as neither but leans more towards female. Do you get it?"

"Sort of." Not really. I mean if you're not a boy or a girl, what are you?

"I prefer to be called Lux rather than my real name and I use they them pronouns."

"Um, okay."

"Anyways technically kissing me wouldn't make you straight because I'm not a girl. Have you ever heard of pansexuality?" She looked at him with wide eyes, obviously upset that he couldn't keep up with her.

"I have a few pan friends. They say they date whoever."

"There's a few more details but that's the jist of it. It just means that you can love and be sexually attracted to anyone despite their gender. I'm pansexual." She grinned and then she asked "So you're gay?"

"I've never liked anybody that wasn't a guy, and I've always identified as gay." Seth was so confused. I kissed her. I wanted to kiss her. I still want to kiss her. What's happening?

"Well better late than never, haha." She gave him a wink and pulled him close again for a kiss.

"No." He pulled away. I want to kiss her but I can't. I can't lead her on. "I'm just not sure, okay? Let's leave it alone for now."

Lux, looking slightly insulted, remained composed and said, "Alright, do you have Netflix?"