Clarity

September

There's a party tonight. It's the last big party before school starts. Megan told me I am going, whether I like it or not. 

Noah was right about Megan, she was scarier than he was because she was pushy. I was afraid to say no. 

Megan said everyone is going to be there. She also said it would be good for people to get a chance to scope me out before school starts. 

Noah thinks it's a good idea because he thinks if I'm in a school setting when people are curious about me, talking to me all at once, I will crap my pants, and have a panic attack. 

It's rather frightening how accurate he was. Minus the crapping my pants. I haven't done that for a very long time. 

So, I have no choice but to go to this party. My mom is going too. 

It's a block party at the town square. 

Megan told me most of the teenagers end up at the beach though. I do not like the beach, especially the beach here. 

Noah thought it would be great to drag me to the beach during a storm because he thought I'd appreciate the unpredictable force that is the ocean. The waves were so big and powerful, I didn't even want to get out of his truck. I was positive I would get swept up out to sea. 

He would try to save me, and I'd be the girl who made Noah drown. Even in death, I wouldn't want to be labeled as that girl.

Noah stood on the beach in his sweats and a hoodie, in the rain and wind, and watched it. 

He was weird. 

I tried my best not to look like I escaped from the psych ward when I got ready for the party. I have on one of my favorite sweaters. It's huge and baggy and I swim in it. It's also knitted, and it falls off my shoulder. There's horizontal fat stripes in earthy tones. I put a black body con mini skirt with it, and a navy blue pair of lace tights. 

I'm wearing my black Vans with white feathers.

My make up also isn't too shocking. I did a chocolate brown and gray smokey eye, with a thick line of a shimmer dark gray eye shadow under my eyes. My lips aren't bright either. They are a soft pink. I would say I look pretty normal. Minus my hair, I suppose. It's a little crazy. It's crimped and in a very odd updo I saw on a TV show. I have a bit of a faux hawk going on. The sides are slicked back in a ponytail, and the top of it is like bumped up. It looks pretty rad, if I do say so myself. 

I have a few rings on, and that's it for jewelry. The town square isn't that far from my house, so I was going to walk. 

Megan gave me no choice but to walk with her and Noah, and probably that boy she is always with. I think his name is like Oz, or Andy. Austin, maybe. 

I met them outside their house at six. I was a little surprised when Kenzie was with them. 

She was wearing yoga pants, and a hoodie. She barely had any make up on. I would have thought I was over dressed if Megan wasn't flaunting that Portland grunge look with her white Nirvana tee, a red leather jacket, and ripped black skinny jeans. Her lips were as red as her jacket was. 

They all said hi to me, and I gave them a half nod. 

I felt like an awkward fifth wheel. 

I wanted to run back to my house and stay there. 

"Your hair is different," Noah said, staring at it, "a good different." 

Megan pulled at the bottom of my sweater, and I moved away. 

"Do you even have pants on?" She asked with a chuckle. I nodded. Being short means everything is longer on me. If I was taller, the sweater would have hit right at mid thigh, but it didn't. It was a little longer and I could wear it as a dress if I wanted to.