Clarity

Still December

Christmas. 

I had unwrapped all the gifts from my family, I had tucked them safely in my room, and finished the mandatory Christmas Dinner. It wasn't a bad day, but it wasn't a good day either. 

The Carpenter household was filled with laughter all day, and people were coming and going. 

My house welcomed my mom's parents, and that was it. 

Noah had so much family, it was nauseating to think about. I couldn't deal with that many people asking me all those family Christmas questions. The entire idea of it all made me want to hide under my bed. 

Noah, Megan and I planned to exchange presents in the evening, and after my grandparents left, I waited for them to make their way over. 

I attempted to wrap Noah's present, which was an easel I had made myself in the garage. It wasn't the easiest thing to wrap, so I spread out wrapping paper, and kept rolling the easel up until it was covered completely. 

I used way too much tape, and was almost excited to watch Noah unwrap it, solely because I had used that much tape. 

I started working on the easel at the end of November, and I'm quite proud of it. The clip that holds the canvas is a cut out of a poorly drawn version of his tree, and there's a hard surface I made out of blocks of wood I glued together and sanded that slides into the groove where the canvas rests in case he wants to sketch on paper or something. I stained it all a rich chocolate with a hint of red.

I put legs on this cool sea foam green vintage suitcase I found in the attic to put my records in, and I decided to make one for Megan too. 

There weren't many options at the junk store in town, but I did find a suitcase that would work. It wasn't sea foam green or anything. It was a beat up fire engine red, and it looked amazing when I was done with it. 

I like recycling old things. It's empowering. 

Noah sent me a text first, and he was in his window a few moments after I replied, ready to scale his tree in his Sunday Best. He was in a red crew neck sweater, a hideous lime green dress shirt underneath and a white bow tie.

He had a bag in his hand, that I assumed was my gift. 

"Hi," Noah called from his tree, "Megan has to help my mom clean up, she will be over in a while." 

He climbed in my window, and stopped suddenly. 

"What?" I asked, looking down at my dress, thinking I had spilled something on it. 

"Nothing," Noah smiled, "I don't think I've seen you this dressed up, you look nice." 

I put my hand on the back of my neck, and looked at the gift bag in his hand. 

"Thanks," I mumbled, smoothing my dress. It was gold sequins, with a black sash tied in a bow. I had black lacy tights on but my lipstick had worn off hours ago. 

I had a light on, and it was dim in my room.

"Do you want to wait for Megan?" I asked Noah. I turned on the overhead light and took my hair out of my pony tail. 

"I don't know if you would want Megan to see the present I have for you, it's kind of like personal," Noah confided. 

I gulped. Personal? Personal how? Like personal for him, or personal for me?

"Oh," I replied, pressing my lips together, "well yours is the badly wrapped mess against the wall," I said, pointing to it. Noah reached into his bag and pulled out his camera.