Clarity

October

Noah’s tree is very pretty now. The leaves are changing colors, and it is vibrant and breathtaking. So much so, that I finally painted something in art. 

I painted his tree. 

Greg says it’s good. I think it’s a mess. I really am starting to like Greg. He’s fun, and his laugh and his voice are so calming, like Noah’s. 

I’m not sure where Megan got her controlled craziness from. Greg is weird, but he’s weird because he’s got a good soul. He’s not off his rocker like Megan. 

Noah told me Megan almost started a wild fire once. 

I asked him if he told Smokey the Bear his sister wasn’t trying to prevent forest fires, and he laughed for like five minutes, and kept saying ‘only you can prevent forest fires,’ in a deep voice. 

He’s been giving me random stuff lately. He says he is cleaning out the attic. There’s a lot of stuff up there that was Greg’s. 

I have more records now, mostly from the best bands from the sixties and seventies and eighties. 

Yeah, I have Journey on vinyl now. 

My mom was inspired by Noah gutting the attic for his dad, she thought it would be cool to go through some of her things in the attic, and I was surprised she was kind of cool back in the day. 

I have a lot of holey band shirts from the eighties now. I’m not complaining. Noah going through all the albums Greg had, made him realize why my taste in music was so vintage. 

My mom raised me on that stuff. 

Noah sticks to his pop crap most of the time. When we study in my room though, we listen to my fantastic records. I don’t go to his house a lot. 

I’ve only been in his room like twice. I'm allergic to cats, and he has two. They're names are Huckleberry and Finn. He also understands that my room is a life jacket for me, it keeps me breathing. He likes that about my room. 

He hasn’t come out and said he likes my room because it’s like weird to say he likes such a calming feminine place, but I’m pretty sure he thinks that. 

He kept asking me if I was going to ever put any art above my bed, and I told him no, because I was too lazy to find something good enough to hang there. He said he might be painting me something, and I should hang it there. I asked what it was and he said it was a secret. 

If it’s a green dog, I will not hang it on my wall. 

Noah’s seen my scars and cuts on my legs. I was wearing my tiny shorts to sleep in, and my alarm didn’t go off. He came over and woke me up because I was going to be late for school. I was surprised he used the door, he’s much more comfortable with the window. But it was pouring down rain that day. 

I also didn’t feel very well, and didn’t want to get out of bed. He put his hand on my forehead and told me I wasn’t sick so I had to get up. I still didn’t and he pulled my blankets off. 

Noah’s expression changed, and he got a little quiet. He said I didn’t have to go to school if I didn’t want to, and I pulled the blanket back up. 

He hasn’t talked about it. I don’t want to, and he probably knows I would brush it off anyway. 

I like Noah because he knows he should keep quiet about some things. He doesn't pester me to talk to him like my mother does. It's extremely irritating. She still hasn't taken me to a therapist. 

I appreciate her for that. We still don't talk a lot though. 

It's not like it's much different than before, we're still strangers. She has one major flaw when it comes to relating to me.