Finding a New Earth

Chapter 6: Forgetting

I couldn't forget. Not the fire the deaths nor Carrot. I almost envied the people who did although it seemed a gift it was also a curse. How can you learn when you can't remember your experiences? How can you live such a big lie and it be fine?! I wonder what Carrots family would be feeling, but of course they wouldn't remember the little boy with ginger hair, because no one will. I want to cry but I don't have the time for that and if I did who knows what would happen. Perhaps I would be killed for breaking the rules and having sad emotions...

"Are you alright Sky?" My Mum asks nicely as we sit at the dinner table. My food goes untouched in front of me and even the smell of it twists my stomach.
"I'm fine." I plaster on a fake smile I hope she can believe. If she does or not I don't know as Dad changes the subject. I try keeping up with the conversation but each of my thoughts lead back to the mysterious Alpha. He is so cold hearted I still can't believe the conversation we had earlier and when he saved me and how he keeps staring at me... Perhaps there is something more between us.

The week continues and each day I count down the hours for PSHE. Alpha is now doing his work and sometimes we make conversation. I always get this feeling when I look in to his eyes that he wants to say something but can't. Or maybe I'm just overthinking things...
"Ha! I knew you could calm the beast within him." Raven told me one lunch time as Twist mentioned me and Alpha. I blushed looking down to my tray. Twist is a really nice guy and we have spent hours arguing over the most comic superficial things like old music and the new upgrades in hover boards.
On Saturday I spent the day with Raven and Twist we went shopping in the small mall type place and then even watched a film at the cinema. I got back to my place at about nine o'clock and I put on my tech band realising I received a new message.
Message from Alpha
My heart beats wildly as I open it, what would he want?
-Meet me at midnight at the globe.
The globe is a small model of earth in a room with the biggest window on the ship I often like going there just to watch the space outside. Should I go? He didn't ask it as a question but a command. Question is did I want to go? There was always a curfew to stay in our rooms when night mode has been set but I don't think it's hard to sneak out. I quickly reply:
Okay.

My feet are silent as I tiptoe past my parents room and open our door. It shuts with a loud click and I flinch at the sound hoping no one heard. I'm wearing my black leggings and a simple maroon top my hair hangs past my shoulders in cascading waves. It takes about five minutes to walk to the globe and when I enter the room the lights are still off. The stars create a light glow that splashes on to the walls. I can make out Alpha sitting in front of the globe staring at the view, he hears me come in but doesn't move. I take in the globe and love how beautiful it is. It was before the world war three and in the dark, little lights are placed on it to show the lights you would see on it from space. Feeling nostalgic I look away and sit beside him.
"Its incredible." I say after a moment of silence pointing to the billions of lights like small holes in the dark lid put on the universe.
"It is." He nods his head and rests his elbows on his knees.
"Why am I here."
"Because I needed to talk to you about something. I haven't told anyone before."
I wait patiently for him to continue. "Ever since I was younger I have always had a bitter hatred towards everyone apart from my mother. I remember why now. My Dad.." He cleared his throat and took a deep breath. I felt like touching him showing him it's okay but I don't know how he would react. "My Dad used to abuse us both. It was him who killed her and the one person I loved most caused me so much pain in grief I was scared to love. Because loving can only lead to more unwanted pain. It was because of my Dad I decided to fight back I made myself stronger until I one day fought him- I was only 15 years old."
He told me this and then waited for me to say something, my throat was tight with fear for the young boy he once was.His face remained placid and it made me curious as to what he was feeling deep down.
"I'm sorry." I croak before he carries on.
"Whatever happens from now onwards I want to make her proud. she always told me to love what I loved and accept what I hated. So I wanted to apologise for my behaviour the past week."
I shook my head not believing the big bad Alpha is pouring his heart out to me and saying sorry. I used to think that wasn't in his vocabulary. "You're forgiven."
"Thank you." He stood up and walked to the window, I did the same resting my palm against the cool surface of the glass. His warm hand covered mine and I looked towards him in shock. He leaned forwards slowly watching me with his dark eyes- my breath hitched, his lips were brushing against my ear as he spoke.
"I told you not to forget." He pulled away and I felt my blood rushing through my body. The only time he ever said that to me was in my dream with him... I gasped in realisation.