Wolf and Wishes

-8- The Great Group Outing

Raven shows up at my door Sunday morning, with an array of 'sympathetic chocolates', and a card with the words 'Sorry for your loss' printed on the front in white cursive. It's pathetic, thoughtful and funny all at the same time.

"You shouldn't have," I say, fake-cheery. Raven plasters on her own fake-cheery smile and holds them out to me.

"So, can I come in?" she asks as I take box of chocolates from her and place them on the polished wooden table besides the door and pull my hood over my ears. Raven's eyes flit briefly to them, and I try to fleeting expression.

I shake my head. "Nah, I'm ready to leave. Let's go," I say, and butterflies fill my stomach at the thought of meeting Hunter, and then go down with the thought of seeing Gossamer. I shudder as Raven and I walk side by side down the footpath.

As we make our way towards town, we talk casually about school- which had become a nightmare every since Gossamer arrived. The following nights were filled with the same horrifying dreams about Gossamer, always ending with her standing outside my window, a menacing snarl plastered on her face. My conversations with Hunter were limited to brief discussions about the weather, and a occasionally questions about the 'group outing' this morning. All in all, I tried to avoid him, to prevent my heart breaking.

"So," Raven begins, and as if reading my mind, adds, "you spoken to Hunter lately."

"Nah," I say, shrugging. "Not really."

Raven glances at me sympathetic. "You should talk to him. I mean, I know it's hard but..."

"Don't worry, I'll be fine," I say, re-plastering my earlier fake smile onto my face. "So, let's go get some milkshakes!"

Raven and I are early, and we sit in the same booth as last time. We wait a while, but Raven gets hungry so we go up to the counter and order some muffins and cupcakes for the group. By the time the get there, the toasted muffins have gone cold. I pick the pink icing off my third cake as Hunter and Dexter smile sympathetically. Gossamer grins evilly as they all take their seats, Gossamer practically sitting in Hunter's lap. I grimace, and Gossamer's smile only widens. Hunter glances across at me sheepishly, seemingly embarrassed.

Dexter goes for a grape and blueberry muffin, while I toss my cold and unappealing cupcake in the bin next to our seats. A waiter appears- almost out of thin air- to take orders. I get an extra small chocolate-mint milkshake, which I only ordered because Raven claimed I should drink something, which she only said for the sake of Hunter's feelings. He obviously felt incredibly guilty about turning up almost an hour and a half later without texting.

We are pretty much all silent until the orders arrive. I sip my milkshake and glance around the table. "So," I begin. "Why are you guys so late?"

Dexter starts. "We are so sorry- I mean, we didn't mean to be late but Gossamer and Hunter! And I am sooo sorry!"

Gossamer smiles sweetly. "I'm not sorry. Right Hunt?" she says, glancing up at Hunter. I almost gag, and it feels like a knife to the heart. Raven grimaces sympathetically and Dexter looks like he's trying to forget something he wishes he'd never seen.

We make small talk, but it's pathetic and kind of depressing, because Raven knows I am in pain, Dexter is totally disgusted, Hunter's embarrassed and Gossamer's either oblivious or loving the awkwardness. Like her mission wasn't to ruin my relationship with Hunter, but to ruin my circle of friends.

As Gossamer goes for a bathroom break, and Dexter and Raven go for a walk around the block to 'burn off the carbs' of the cupcakes (despite the fact that they had only eaten a combined total of one and a half cupcakes), Hunter and I are momentarily left alone. I poke my straw in my half-empty extra extra small milkshake, feeling like I'm about to burst into tears. Gossamer will be back from the bathroom any second now, and I'm not really sure if I can see her come back, sit in Hunter's lap and smother him with 'honey's and 'baby's. My happiness has taken enough of a beating.

.I don't think I can look him in the eye as I get up to leave, about to tell Hunter to tell Raven I'm walking home when he speaks.

"I'm sorry," he says quietly. I glance at him briefly. I smile, pretending it's not a big deal, when really my heart's shattering into a million different pieces as I pick the last raspberry and muesli muffin off the platter at the center of the plate and sling my bag over my shoulder. He looks up at me with wide, chocolate eyes, obviously hopeful.

It hurts me the most to do what I do next, but I know that I need to accept that Hunter's with Gossamer now. So I shrug, and say; "I'll see ya round, Hunter."

And then I walk away.