My choice

Chapter five - A joyous occasion

October 21st 1871

Christine Daae

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I stood running my hands over the fabric of my wedding gown, which I wasn't able to pick out myself. Not that it wasn't beautiful, it just wasn't something I would pick out. It was made by the top tailor in Paris and out of layers of the finest fabric in France. Where as I would have gone with something simpler.

Raouls mother decided to take charge of wedding planning leaving me out of everything, including the dress choosing process. She is an extremely stubborn and controlling woman, she has been for as long as I can remember. So particular about everything. I'm surprised she even allowed us to get engaged, since I wasn't from a higher class family. When push came to shove, she was getting older and wanted to see some grandchildren since Raouls older brother never married.

Meg and Madame Giry arrived early in the morning to help me get ready. My hair was pulled up tightly, and my dress weighed more then any other clothing I owned.

Madame Giry stood behind me, telling me how beautiful I looked and how proud of me she was. How proud my father would be.

My father.

Would he still be proud of me?

I wasn't able to ponder on it long before my thoughts were interrupted,

"Christine, we have to go." Madame Giry said picking up the train of the heavy dress

This is it.

The three of us left the manor to a carriage that would take us to the church. 

The morning air was crisp and cool. Not many people walked the streets as it was only eight in the morning.

As we pulled up to the church, carriages that were dropping off some of Raouls close friends lined the street, spiking my nerves.

I was helped out of the carraige and stared up at the building distracted from everything going on around me.

"Are you ready my dear?" Madame Giry asks. I nod my head to try and keep from crying, as she offers her hand which I take.

We walk to the doors. She gives my hand a reassuring squeeze and the doors open. I take a deep breath and start walking. I can't look at Raoul right now so I look around the room a bit. Pink and white roses covered the room, few people sat in the pews only a few close friends of Raoul and his family. I let out an unsteady breath making the excuse that it was just nerves. Phillipe, Raoul's brother, stood behind him at the front of the church and his mother sat with a smile on her face. Mostly because of the work she'd done, less because it as her sons wedding day, and definitely not because of me.

When we get to the arch I'm standing in front of Raoul looking into his eyes which held a small amount of emotion. He had a warm smile on his face, which was different then usual. I still felt uneasy about this.

I looked back at Meg who stood behind me with a large happy smile.

Listen Christine you said leaving with Raoul was the right choice.

Was it? Yes it was. You should have never went back. You knew you were going to get hurt again. But you love him Christine your madly in love with Erik, your angel, stop trying to hide it.

Things will change, things will go back to normal, after everything calms down.

I just want to scream and bury myself in a hole. I was confused with this sudden change in Raoul's attitude, but I was thankful. It made it easier to stay.

"Do you Raoul de Changy take Christine Daae to be you lawfully wedded wife. In sickness and in health. To have and to hold til death do you part?" The priest asks

"I do." Raoul says smiling again

"Do you Christine Daae take Raoul de Changy to be your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health. To have and to hold til death do you part?" He asks again

"I-I do." I say hesitantly

"With the power vested in me I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride."

Raoul and I kiss, there was no scent or taste of alcohol on his breath which explains the change in his mood. It's not empty, but I don't get that warm feeling like I do when I kiss Erik. It's softer, not as enjoyable.

I couldn't help but think of my angel, Erik who has a name and is a living breathing man and of what might have been.

He  is gone Christine. You're married to Raoul now. There's no going back.