My choice

Chapter six - Full of surprises

November 23 1871

Christine

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I've been married to Raoul for about a month and it's nothing like I thought it would be. Raoul is drinking almost every night, I was stupid to think he would change after wedding. He goes out all the time to who knows where, for hours at a time. He doesn't speak to me much when we are together, which is only at meals or when there are guests. Other then that he locks himself away in his office or drinks until he passes out.

Meg and Madame Giry are in America, and Erik is god only knows where. This is my life now and I hated it, I was alone but I had to stay.

A maid named Amber, who seems to be my only friend anymore, is taking care of me until the doctor comes. I've been rather depressed lately, though not many have noticed. I miss Erik so much, the thought of him not being here means he's somewhere else, hiding maybe, he might have a life now. I don't know. I've been writing to him, almost everyday. I have a journal with letters I wrote for him.

"Do you need anything Madame?" Asks Amber pulling me out of my thoughts

"I'm fine right now, thank you." She nods and leaves the room

I wrote an entry in the diary,

'My dearest Erik,
I miss you, it seems to be a repetitive thing I keep writing. I can't help but wonder if you miss me as well. Wherever you are, I hope you are happy.

Happy. Such a silly word, when I came back to you, you said I was happy though I had no joy in my life other than yourself but you didn't know that. We were happy, were we not? On that night, which we were together.

I pray that I will see you again, but that is unlikely to happen.

With love,
Your Christine"

I closed the book and moved to set it on the side table without upsetting my stomach anymore then it already is. A paper slipped out of the cover landing on the blanket covering my body. I picked it up and unfolded it forgetting what it was.

I scan over the words scrolled on the paper tears start to fill my eyes as I read it.

It's the note he left me the night before my wedding. Why I kept it, I don't know. I put it away and take a deep breath. There's a knock on the door.

"Yes?" I call wiping away the tears

"Madame the doctor's here should I send him in?"

"Yes send him in. By any chance is Raoul here too?"

"No madame he hasn't returned yet."

Damn it

"Thank you."

A moment later the doctor comes in.

"Hello Madame, I'm doctor Henri Mills."

"Hello."

"Now how long have you been feeling like this?" I think for a minute

"A few weeks." I say.

"What are some symptoms you've had lately?"

"I've been sick quite a few times and I've been extremely tired."

"Okay, one more personal question when was your last menstrual cycle?"

I thought for a moment, "Last month."

"Madame is there any chance your cycle could be late this month?"

Oh , "Yes now that I think about it, I was supposed to get it last week."

"From what I'm hearing it sounds as if you are with child. I don't want to get your hopes up if you are not. I am going to perform a quick pregnancy test to support my assumptions."

I understood what the doctor was saying and allowed him to feel my stomach and listen to it. He took maybe ten minutes and he had the results.

"Well Madame I can say that you are with child, about a month along. I wish you and your husband the best of luck but because this is your first I would like to have an appointment once a month to make sure everything is healthy. "

"Yes of course."

I thanked him and set an appointment up for next month before Amber showed him out. I stood from the bed and stretched out my muscles, I placed my hand on my stomach; on my child. I was filled with joy as I thought about having a child and becoming a mother, something I've always thought about.

The negative side of my situation soon weighed down on me.