The thing that kills you the most (shawn mendes)

Fresh again

Allison p.o.v

We were still Laying in bed and shawn was asleep still. As I was there I was thinking about how bad I wanted to tell him my feelings. So I whispered, "I wish I could just tell you how much I like you". As I thought he was asleep he woke up and said, "huh"? Fuck I thought. "Nothing sorry" I said. "Okay?" He said as more of a question than an answer. "So what's the plan today?" I asked. "Just a lazy day?" He asked. "Sure" I said. I really wanted to tell him that I liked him I just couldn't. "Hey do you mind if I take a shower?" "No but can I join?" He said and asked. I started to laugh. "Why are you laughing?" He asked. "Wait you were serious?" "Yeah I mean we are short on water cause the storms so I was just wondering to save some water" he stated. " uh okay I guess" I said. We both walked into the bathroom. As I undressed I covered my body feeling insecure. He soon stripped and I couldn't help but stare at his abs. He then looked at me and smirked while saying "like what you see" I turned around immediately. "No" I said. I got in and him soon after me. I stood there not knowing what to do. He then grabbed his axe shampoo and gave me some. I started to wash it out when I was finishing I felt to arms wrap around my waist. "Your beautiful" shawn said. I started to blush as he stood in front of me. "May I" he asked. "Yes" I said. He started to rub soap all over my body starting with my arms then to my stomach then my breast to my back my butt my legs then he handed me the soap. " here I won't if you don't want me to" he said. "Thanks" I said washing myself down there. I was washing it off as he was helping me. I looked up and we stared at each other. He started to lean in an soon we were kissing. We started to stumble and I hit the wall I was pushed up against the wall while we were making out. Then I thought of what was going on and pushed him away. "What's wrong" he asked. "I'm sorry I can't" I said getting out of the shower as he did to and the both of us getting dressed and we were fully. "Why not" he said. " I don't want to get hurt" "I'm not going to" "shawn yes you will I know how your little game works you use them for sex then pretty soon you'll act like you don't know me again" I sighed but saying it a little louder. "I'm not always like that" he said getting angry and louder to. "Yes you will shawn, you don't actually want me" I said yelling. I started to walk away bit he grabbed my hand and twirled me around. Before I could say anything his lips were on mine again. "Not to you I won't" he whispered. " Ally I can't do that to you. Want to know the truth? I nodded. He continued, " I can't do that to you no matter how much I tried. All these girls I was with were because I was trying to make you jealous and want me. The truth I've like you since freshmen year and then I became popular even famous cause of vine. But nothing seemed to get you to notice. Your are most beutiful and amazing girl I have ever seen and I just want you to be mine. I'm so sorry for everything I've put you through ignored you made fun of you cause my friends or the other girls do I'm so sorry. But I really do like you and I will never hurt you" he said all in one. "You already have" I said before running out of his room downstairs and out the door. I ran so fast all the way home. I opened the door and walking to find my dad there. "Dad" I asked. He turned around and it was him. "Ally" he slurred. Of course he's drunk no wonder why he came here. Mom wasn't home either great. "I just wanted to tell you how much I loved you" he said "sure you did dad" "fine your right you a failure I hate you and I wish you were never born I should of killed you" he yelled then he pulled out a knife and I ran up to my room and locked the door. And started to cry. There's banging then it was gone after a while. I left the room and checked around he was gone. I broke down crying I went upstairs and did what I hadn't for two months. I took out my blade one two three four five and six cute across my arm I went to the bathroom cleaned myself up changed and went to bed. Tomorrow was gonna be a long day