Childhood memories

6: depression and memories

Kakashi is 18..
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Kakashi stand at the memorial stone. He didn't go to the funeral... He never wanted to witness another death of someone close too him..
"Kakashi?" Someone asked, Kakashi didn't move
"Kakashi, I know it's hard"
"what do you know" the masked boy said. "What do you know?!" Kakashi shouted.. As he clenched his fists. He didn't want to Believe it at all, he wanted to be with them again. But he knew he couldn't.. He wanted to see her again... He wanted to hug her... He wanted to join her.. He missed her so much..
"Kakashi, the others are worried about you" the hokage said putting a hand on the young man's shoulder, Kakashi moved the hokage's hand. Glaring at the old man,
"Kakashi" Kakashi sighed as he looked to his feet
"Sorry lord hokage" Kakashi said with a sigh.. He then turned around and looked at the old man.
"I'll be going" Kakashi said, his anger boiling up a little as he walked away.. He wanted to slaughtered them, the people who killed his teammate worst his girlfriend, the one he was... He loved her so much... Kakashi walked home, the whole village looking at him. All of them knew well that Kakashi was angry. They knew he wanted to kill, asuma and Guy were sad but not as much, the other soon to be fully adults knew that Kakashi would be depressed and he was, he refused to go out with them and hang out. He refused to go on missions, he was an emotional wreck, some could even hear him screaming in his nightmares... Everyone in the village felt bad for him. And if news got out that he was depressed enemies would take advantage of him. The hokage thought it was best for Kakashi to get over it before he went on missions... Kakashi sat on his bed and put a picture of Itami down. He knew he was a wreck,
"Boss where's your lady friend?" Pakun asked. Kakashi glared at the dog making pakun walk out slowly.
"Get out" Kakashi threatened.. Kakashi lowered his head biting his lip behind his mask.. He didn't want to accept it.. It wanted her by his side once more just for one last hug at least, he needed her....

Flash back
"Itami......" He whispered his body shaking above her bloody body... Frightened...scared out of his skin...... As he knelt down shaking uncontrollably as he gently picked her up... A large stab wound in the chest, he leant his head down, eye wide.
"Ka-Kakashi" a weak voice whispered.. Kakashi's head snapped up too see the slightly opened eyes of his girlfriend.. He whimpered and grit his teeth as the tears threatened to spill...
"Ita..." He said slowly as he held her tightly.
"Itami.." He was having furiously.. Itami shakily raised her hand to touch his cheek making him start to cry.. He may be in anbu black ops but the fact that the last person that was close to him was dying Infront of him was enough... It was enough to make the man cry...
"A-ashi-kun... Don't cry.. You....you idiot" she whispered Kakashi nodded furiously bringing her up a little more to his chest. Blood running from her mouth making him want to hug her more and more..
"Ita-chan... Please don't....." He begged her, Itami smiled at him.
"Sorry ashi-kun......." She whispered, Kakashi started crying... He wanted her to be alright.. He needed her to be alright... He moved the stray hairs from her face, she coughed a little and smiled up at him
"Ashi"
"Itami!" Tsunade shouted.... But she went quiet as she burst into tears too see the young man her student fell for by her side... Itami smiled at Kakashi and pulled him down into a weak kiss, he kissed back softly their masks down as she felt his tears on her skin. He couldn't control it anymore, he started crying fully tears streaming down his cheeks not wanting his best friend to leave him.. "Please.. Don't leave me..." He begged her as she placed a softly kiss in his forehead.
"I'm sorry Kakashi....... I can't promise.....that I will.....just....don't....cry" she whispered as he quickly wiped the tears away, his bottom lip trembling while his whole body shook.
"I love you ashi" she whispered as she gazed up at the young man.. And smiled widely
"Don't stop being.....you" she whispered "don't ignore....your friends.....okay?.......don't be....cold....to...others...when...I'm not-" Itami winced as she stopped speaking,
"Ita.." Kakashi aside wide eyed as he held her close
"When your not what?" He asked terrified.
"When I'm not here....ashi......don't forget....that...I......I...love..you"
"No no never!.. I'll never forget I promise" he whispered as he started sobbing.. Itami smiled and pulled him into a passionate kiss.. The last one he would ever have from the love of his life... As she smiled as she gazed up at him once more
"I love you Kakashi hatake........be safe you big lug.............." She whispered as her voice trailed off..... Kakashi's eyes widened even more as he started to shake her gently
"Ita?" He asked quietly. Nothing
"Itami?" He said shaking her.. He put a shaky finger up to her neck, not feeling her pulse he froze, his whole body absolutely froze....
"I-I-Ita-Ta-mi" he shuttered not wanting to Believe that she was gone, Kakashi started shaking even more, no one went up to him, tsunade though he ran his hand against her cheek.. He pale skin making it worse for the boy..
"Itami-chan" he whispered gritting his teeth as he threatened to scream....
"Itami?!" He shouted getting back to reality... He couldn't help but scream for her to come back to him.. He didn't want her to leave him... He needed her once more... He needed his best friend that always made him happy, that made him laugh and actually enjoy life... For most of his childhood..never after obito, rin's minato's his father's death... She was still there to help him... Through the tough times.. To embarrass him around his friends, to help him keep the bonds he still had.... He wanted to make her his wife.. He wanted to have her forever......... All the emotions he had been hiding for all this time... Finally came out..
"Itami!!!!!!" He screamed..... Hugging her body tightly as he started sobbing uncontrollably..

Flashback ends..
Kakashi started crying... Often having nightmares from the death of his best friend... Kakashi started sobbing as he sat on his bed alone in the cold dark room...