Life Is Unfair ~Malcolm in the Middle fanfic~

Decorate the Tree, Not Your Brother

"Dewey, you are so lucky your mom ain't home from work yet. You can escape her wrath for Operation Surprise Bunny for a little bit longer," I said as we walked up the driveway to their house.
Malcolm unlocked the door and Dewey ran in with Guiliana, still holding her hand.
I groaned and leaned against the outside of the house.
"Do you still want kids?" Malcolm laughed, kissing my forehead before going inside.
"That's really quite debatable after today," I muttered, following him.
Twenty minutes later, Dewey and Guili had their little trees and were decorating away.
"So, whatcha want to do?" Malcolm whispered in my ear, kissing my cheek.
"Probably exactly what you're thinking, but I'll say this for the second time today: NO," I laughed, pushing him away.
"I vow I shall get it someday!" He cried, throwing his hand in the air.
I started laughing harder and had to lean against the wall to keep myself from falling over.
"Why are you dorks so happy?" Reese said as he came out of the boys' bedroom.
"Because we're in LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE," I drew out the 'o' and Reese groaned.
"You guys are freaks," He said.
And that's when all hell broke loose. "You can't call them freaks!" Dewey cried, jumping out of his chair. Guiliana's expression just said "wut". "I can call them whatever I want, FREAK!" Reese said, grabbing Dewey's shirt.
Dewey grabbed one of his ornaments and stabbed Reese's arm.
Now, the ornament hook wasn't even that sharp.
The kid had strength.
"OW!" Reese howled as he looked at the hook sticking out of his arm. "Dewey! Decorate the tree, not Reese!" I cried, running over to him to examine the hook.
"Don't touch me!" Reese said, pulling away from me.
"Get your stubborn ass over here, you asinine doughnut!" I said, yanking the hook out before he could whine anymore.
"OWWWWWWWW!" He yelled before shutting up and pouting.
"Stop being such a baby and get a band-aid," I said, rolling my eyes.
He kept pouting as he walked off to go tend to his "awful wound".
The four of us looked at each other and busted out laughing.
I think it was from the pure hilarity of the entire day.
Once I could stand up, I started helping Dewey and Guili clean up the table and put their trees outside. Dewey put all his ornaments on one side of the tree (oops) and Guili just dumped glitter all over the damn thing (seriously contemplating if I want kids).
I looked at my watch and sighed. "Okay, Guiliana, it's time to head home. You have to go to bed soon," I groaned, leaning on Mal's shoulder. "Not by yourselves; it's dark. I'll walk with you guys," Malcolm said, smiling at me.
"Thanks, Mal," I said, smiling back.
I heard Lois pull into the driveway and I froze.
"Where's the bunny?" I asked, lowering myself to Dewey's eye level.
"Our room."
"Okay, just keep the door shut," I said as she walked in the door.
"Hey guys! Nice trees, Dewey and Guili!" Lois said, hugging me and Guili.
"How did you-"
"Dewey, you can tell," Lois said, taking off her jacket and purse.
Malcolm and I stifled our laughter. "Okay, Lois, I gotta get Guili home and I need to go to bed," I said, hugging her.
"See you tomorrow, honey," She said, winking at me.
I grinned before looking at Dewey hugging my niece.
"Bye, Guiliana!" Dewey said as I picked her up.
"Yeah, yeah, no ladies for you, mister," I said, laughing.
As Malcolm grabbed his jacket, I heard Lois open the door to the boys' bedroom.
"Uh-oh," I whispered.
"WHY IS THERE A BUNNY IN MY HOUSE?!" Lois screamed.
"Go, go, go, go, GO!" I cried, running out the door with Malcolm already ten feet ahead of me.
As we ran to my house, I laughed in delight.
Now, you might be wondering why, considering I had just nearly escaped being murdered by my boyfriend's mom.
But I had a good reason.
I felt free.

A/N: So I don't know if anyone actually reads these, but if you are reading this: Hi! I'm SO sorry I haven't been updating as often, but school and life has been kicking my ass. I'll try to update more soon though, I promise. Oh, and THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 1.3K READS THAT IS AMAZING <3 <3