Reunited

Chapter 4

Two in the afternoon arrived, finally. I drove to the park. I sat in my car for a few minutes like a coward and just breathed deeply. When I made myself leave the car I started searching for her. I found her in front of a bouncy house, laughing. Cadence must have been bouncing around inside.
I approached her and tapped her shoulder.
"Hi!" She said excitedly. "It's so good to see you. I've been trying to teach Cadence how to say your name, she's sort of picked it up but she doesn't associate it with you."
I giggled. "That's alright." She's going to need a new name for me soon, if this works out.
"Cadence!" She called for the little girl. A small child came to the entrance and smiled at her mother. I couldn't look away. From what Adaline told me, this was what she looked like as a baby as well. Dark hair, slightly tan skin, remarkably tall. The only difference was her dark eyes. They almost looked black. I supposed they came from her father.
"Jen, this is Cadence. Cadence, can you say Jen?" Adaline said to her daughter.
"Jeah!" Cadence yelled.
I laughed. "Close enough kiddo! You are gorgeous!"
Adaline smiled. "Do you want to hold her?"
I beamed. "But of course!"
I took the little girl from her hands as she bent down to pick up a pair of shoes. She placed them in a nearby stroller and turned back to me. I was busy finding tickle spots and making the toddler laugh.
The next few hours were spent letting Cadence have fun with stickers, shopping at the local vendors, and visiting the petting zoo, where a certain goat followed me until I gave in and fed him.
When everything was winding down I mentally prepared myself. We found ourselves at an empty table, Cadence had gotten hungry and was eating a bag of Cheerios.
"Adaline, there's something I need to tell you. And I'm not sure how you're going to take it." I told her.
She furrowed her brow. "What is it? You sound scared."
Believe me, I am.
"I know who your birth mother is."
Her jaw dropped and her face turned to ash.
"Who?"
"It's....me." I said and closed my eyes, bracing for her tirade.
When she was silent I looked up. She was staring at me, open-mouthed.
"I'm not angry." She simply said.
I was curious as to why. She had every right to be. But I kept my questions to myself.
"Everyone always asked me why I wasn't angry. But I've alway just been hurt. I wondered if I wasn't good enough, or if I was a burden."
"Oh no! No it was my fault. I made a stupid decision when I let you go."
"So why did you?"
She was starting to cry now. I wanted to hurry up and tell her, to console her.
"I was sixteen. Your father left me right when I was about to tell him. I thought I could do it on my own. But the farther along I was, the more I scared myself into thinking I would fail. And I couldn't fail you, you were my baby. I couldn't contact your father. He has no idea you exist. I couldn't find a job. No one wanted to hire a pregnant teenager. I had to make myself give you up. I haven't even looked at you until I met you. I couldn't when you were born, I was too scared. I couldn't look at you and not want to keep you."
"But why? Even if you couldn't take care of me, we would have been together. I grew up without any kind of mother." She said in a shaky voice. I could tell she was trying to keep it together.
"I know. But you deserved so much more. You didn't ask to be brought into this world, to be mothered by a teenager with no job and no help. I wanted you to have a life free of worry. And I am so, so sorry that it didn't turn out that way."
She stared at the table. "I have to go." She suddenly said, starting to pack her things.
"Please, I won't ever push you. But please, just try to understand. I hated giving you up. For twenty years I've wondered where you were and if you were okay. I cried for months after they took you away, I still cry from time to time. I desperately wish I'd kept you and found a way to make it work. Please, don't give up on me."
She didn't look at me, she just walked away. I watched her put Cadence into a car seat and then drive away. I hurried to my own car and broke down. When I was finally able to breathe without choking, I made my way home. Once inside my house, I did the only other thing I could think of to calm myself down. I called Colin.
"Jen?" I heard his voice and started crying again. He heard me and started to panic.
"What is it? What's happened? Are you okay? Where are you?" He rambled.
"I found her." I managed to say.
"Found who? What's going on?" Colin asked.
"My daughter."
Silence. And then. "I'll be there shortly. Don't move."
And the line went dead.
I stayed right there on my couch, facing inward. I heard the door open and close. Whether or not it was him I didn't care. Someone could rob my house right now and I probably wouldn't move.
I felt a familiar hand touch my arm and tug. Knowing it was him, I rolled over.
"Let's get you cleaned up." He said. He picked me up in his arms, I wrapped my arms around his neck as he carried me to my bedroom. He set me down on the bed and disappeared into the bathroom. He came back with a few of my best hand towels and a glass of water. He had me sit up and I just watched his hands as he went about cleaning my face. There were several black spots on the towels from my makeup. When he was done he offered me the water. I drank most of it and leaned into his shoulder. He pulled me into his lap and rubbed my back with his hand.
"Why don't you tell me what happened?" He asked.
Adaline POV:
She can't just come back into my life and expect a warm welcome. I haven't needed her for twenty years, I don't need her now. I just need Cadence. And maybe Nala.
I smiled as the grey cat climbed into my lap. Cadence was currently napping in her bed. Which left me alone in the living room to cry. This cat somehow always knew when I was upset and sought to comfort me.
So was that job offer just a way to bribe me and keep me around? She can't honestly expect for me to start over and let her be my mother. She obviously doesn't know how to, she hasn't had any more children. She looks just about as screwed up as I am. And she was sixteen? I mean I was eighteen but at least I was an adult, or considered one. And my dad. If he just up and left he must have been an awful person, why would she have anything to do with him? Not to mention have a baby with him!
But she's trying. My brain popped in of it's own accord.
I pushed the sympathetic thoughts away.
You were scared when Cadence's father walked out. And she was already here, you didn't have a job either.
I almost screamed at myself. But the logical side of me had a point. The more I calmed down, the more I realized my anger was just making me senseless.
Once I blew off all of my steam, I pulled out my laptop. I ignored the social media site that automatically opened. Tried to forget my excitement that an actress from my favorite TV show followed me on Twitter and added me on Facebook with her personal account. Because now I knew the truth, she was trying to learn about me. Because she was my mother.