The Death Of Me

Chapter 9 - Just Another Wallflower Giving Bathroom Blowjobs

Recap:

"Are you tired?" He asks.

"Not really." I say.

"Good, now we can cuddle." He grins picking me up and lying me down on the bed. He slid down next to me, wrapping an arm around my waist. I got comfortable and to my surprise slowly drifted off to sleep.

~.~

I was woken up by the sun. Who left my shade open. I could feel Blaze next to me heat radiating onto my body. I propped myself up with my elbows and looked at Blaze's face he was smiling. Who the fuck smiles in their sleep? I just shook it off and rested my head on his chest.

"Good morning, my sweet" Blaze whispered. My head popped up. Blaze chuckled at me.

"Shut up" I said smacking his chest. He gave me a look.

"Since we never got to talk last night, we're gonna talk now." Blaze stated.

"Okay. What do you want to know?" I questioned.

"When did you begin to have panic attacks? Who knew? Why didn't you tell me?" Blaze shot three questions at me. He stared into my eyes.

"Not until I was in 6th grade. The only person who knew besides my no good family is Felix, Monique's older brother. I didn't tell you because, I was scared. Scared you would judge me. Scared you would hate me. Just scared." I answered all his questions. A sigh escaped my lips as my words hung in the air. A silence began to warp around us. He didn't say anything he just hugged my and brought me back down to his chest.

"You know I love you. You're crazy, fun, amazing, beautiful, and perfect. These last few days you've seemed kind of out of it. What's going on?" Blaze said asking me a question towards the end. He loved me, hopefully only me.

"I suffered from an..." I trailed off.

"Eating disorder." He finished my sentence.

"How'd you-" I was cut off by Blaze saying "Doctor Herondale is a smart woman. She knew and told me to help you. It may not have been noticeable but they could tell your stomach was empty." This time I hugged him. Unlike an ordinary hug it was more like a bear hug, bone crushing, and the-perfect-hug.

"I love you" I said into his chest.

"I love you too. Stacey said she wanted to have a girls day so hurry up and get ready it's 12 and she wants to leave by 12:30" He stated. Kissing his cheek I rushed to get ready. When I entered the bathroom I left the door open my hair was slightly wave so I decided to leave it like that.

Walking back into my room I decide to put on a white Sleeping With Sirens t-shirt. Opening up my closet and taking out pair of white skinny jeans and my Sleeping With Sirens t-shirt. I shimmy on my jeans and slid on my shirt. I look into the mirror I notice that I was skinny I had a small thigh gab and my hip bones did show. That's when I remember that the scale was 30 lbs off. I was underweight. Staring at my figure, 20 lbs underweight. I tear down a pair of red skinny jeans, a size zero. Last, I checked I was a size 7. I run happily towards the bathroom I grab my eyeliner and put on a light line on the bottom. I pick up my phone off the counter and walk happily out of the bathroom into the living room. Stacey's standing there she was wearing a grey shirt, Salmon colored skinny jeans, a pink scarf, grey flats, and a small pink bag in her hand.

"You look hot." I say looking her up and down like one of those predator guys that you meet at the club.

"So do you babe. Now put on some shoes and a beanie then I won't look over dressed to go to the mall." She stated.

I walked over to my shoes and slid on a pair of white DC's I glanced at the small hat rack full of me and Stacey's favorite hats. Finding my white beanie I reached for it as I got my shoes on. I grabbed my purse and dropped my phone into the black pit which held a wallet and some un-mentionables.