The Death Of Me

Chapter 1 - The Start of Something New, or Just a Continuation of Something old

Chapter 1- The Start of Something New or Just a Continuation of Something Old

Scarlet’s P.O.V

She had promised to keep it a secret, my secret life on the internet. I guess she was just unable to keep my biggest secret to herself. She had had a history of being a blabber mouth, but she was my best friend. I trusted her and I mended bridges while she set them into flames. I know she meant well but instead sent my world caving in, collapsing at the seams. I fell into a spiral down a trench of despair and ran into the monster. The monster is referring to a few things; the worst being self-harm.

My thoughts drifted to one of the many people who held me back from another relapse, my boyfriend Blaze. He had understood what I was going through, what I am going through. He was sure that the smile I plastered on my face every day was a sham. Merely just a mirage, he seemed perfect, the one as some would say. I hope I am not dead wrong. Blaze would take the time to listen to me rant about simple things for hours. He distracted me from my inner demons, even some of my demons that walked the earth, but never stopped me from taking the razor to my wrist. 

It was days like today when I wondered, what would life be like? What if I hadn’t told Ashley? Would we still be as good friends as we were? Would I have ever self-harmed? I know I will never answer any of these questions but it wouldn’t kill me to wonder. Or would it?

“Dang, Scarlet you’re really out of it today,” my best friend commented. I had been zoning out all day, but it was her fault Stacey had dragged me out of my bed at an ungodly hour. I glare deviously at her in return she flashes me a pearly white smile. Her adorable cheeky grin made me forgive her for tearing me from my slumber and out of my bed to watch cheesy romance movies from the 80’s. Normally I would be the one hauling her out of bed but Blaze had kept me up all night. “Don’t you dare look at me wrong young lady,” Stacey howled, the statement was wrong in so many ways, I was older than her and could take her down in an instant. I rolled my eyes at her slow-witted remark. I was happy she hadn’t forced me out into public, I would have had to do my black hair I haven’t had the energy to even run a brush through it today. Stacey on the other hand had curled her short blonde hair and looked perfect. She was pretty without even trying; when we were younger she never broke out; while if I looked at a piece of pizza I got acne.

“White girl,” I scoffed turning my undivided attention back to the movie our TV screen was projecting. The Last Song was nearing an end and it was my last movie for the night.

“Just letting my true nature show,” Stacey declared and my jaw dropped. In my short existence of 21 years Stacey had never admitted such a thing. Just then Blake and Blaze, our boyfriends, walked into the living room. They are twins and the only significant difference is Blaze has snake bites. With their delectable fair skin, black hair, and theiricy orbs of perfection I could just eat them up; both of them. 

“We got to head out,” Blake said walking towards the door. I could tell without even looking at her that Stacey was disappointed while Blaze leaned down to kiss me. After the awaited kiss I pleaded for them to say, it didn’t work I had used all my assets; and I mean all. “I’m sorry babe,” Blaze apologized sparing me one last peck on the lips. When I opened my eyes they were gone, as if they had never here at all.

~.~

Soon enough the credits were rolling so I turn to Stacey and ask, “Which do you prefer Lohan or Duff?” It was something we used to do in school or maybe even a magnificent ice-breaker.

“Before or after the drugs,” Stacey wondered aloud. I know her entire answer depends on this question.

I wanted to argue my proposition so I say, “Before,” as I pick up the mess of bowls on the coffee table.

“Lohan a