Chubby Cheeks.| ✓

Chubby Cheeks 6

I watched the sun from my window while munching on a granola bar. I surprisingly eat very little and in portions, yes, a cheese burger and ice-cream comes in the portion. It was five in the evening and I don't want to go to the park for having an ice-cream, dreading to meet the infamous brown danger today by any chance, especially after his offer. Sitting inside my own cubicle, I listened to what Alex said in the cafeteria over and over again. It was amusing and different from the usual taunting and pick-up notes. So, what made him say that? He was very good looking and Amber was perfect for him, then what made him look at me differently to pull me out for a coffee? 

I mentally questioned myself with a confused smile and didn't see that I have finished the bar and bit my own finger, wow, already losing my mind to his chocolaty smile and eyes. Watching the sun, I felt refreshing and my mind begged to go out, but, my heart stayed firmed with her decision and it was a big no. I don't want to be another failure and another heartbroken girl. I have already broken my heart with my mom's goodbye and dad forever ignoring me and my brother.

My brother who is working so hard to earn the reputation he always dreamed has high expectation on me. But it was before he saw me, which must be five years back. Of course, he keeps in touch with me, but says he is not ready to come back yet. He said it is too much hurting because everything reminded him of what happened back then. A history he doesn't like to tell me. I have tried so much to get it from him, but no, he didn't share it. Fabian, he was named after a famous musician that my father loved. He left to Toronto in a very young age and became an engineer. He was a very good one with pretty numbers and charming ratios that he was offered high projects over many old big reputed firms and people. Fabian was reaping success in a very alarming rate. I was so proud of him that I was sure mom would have been too.

Before she passed away, she asked him to be successful in whatever he choose to and said to me, especially to me, 'Don't fall in love aimlessly and break your heart, it will leave you reckless." My brother chuckled and I nudged him playfully then.

I never knew she was going away for a final time without any reappearance, I cherished her every memory now as I remember it. I giggled to myself with a small tear for every fun thing that she said and did. She was the only one close to my heart apart from my brother.

My father never had any true emotion to her, and of course they had this huge fight regularly but never raised a finger on her. The most beautiful thing I admire of her was; she remained loyal to him and never looked at anyone else. To this she always said when asked, 'I promised my mother, I would only open to one man, and it was him Angela, it was your father and now that I don't care if he is loyal to me or not, I can't break my word to my mother. I am not stupid and she raised a very obedient and determined girl Angel, once set, my heart never changes. So, promise me, you will do the same.'

I cried softly watching how the light lowered to the ground and specks of light glowed through the town and the view from my apartment was breath taking. My town glowed beautifully and it was calming to watch the chaos down my room. I tried so hard to remove my mom from my thoughts and suddenly I saw Alex smiling at me from the sky, I need to remove him from my thought too, somehow. I slapped myself to show a sweet side of me to this man, who saw through my fat ass. I was model looking like my mom when she was alive, but after her demise and my brother's departure, I gained weight badly and I was happy that guys will not look at me. But once, depression hit hard, I couldn't stop myself from eating, I rapidly gained weight and now, it was so hard for me to reduce my weight.

A slow rattle and creaking of door turned me from the window very slowly. At first I was very scared but then the voice surprised me and I was no longer afraid, "who are you, where's Angela."