Hurt Me Further

In a Loving Home

I was born in a loving home

My mom and dad were happy

My family cherished me

I was their miracle

The world around me

Was good and pure

Something to be discovered

My brother came along

And I can remember

How he'd cry when he ate

And slept

And lived

In my loving home

Daddy never wanted a boy

And I remember the fights

And my little brother

Cried

All night long

When I was four

Daddy packed up his bags

And I watched him walk away

I cried with my brother

Who didn't understand

Because he said he would stay

In our loving home

The next year

I started school

Surrounded by youth and fingerpaints

I carried a teddy bear on the first day

Where it stayed on the teacher's desk

I was picked last

To play tee ball in gym

Because I couldn't run fast

And lines became words

That I couldn't read

But everyone else could

That same year

My mom took me in

To see a doctor

And the tests told her

A word I'd never heard

Her precious daughter had

Autism

And was born retarded

Inside her loving home

And my mom got a boyfriend

Because my dad left a year before

He said he loved me

More than her

He asked me to let him

Do what he wanted

And I said yes

That night I felt innocence

Slip through my stubby fingers

In the form of rough hands

On smooth skin

And he said if I told

He'd kill my little brother

In my loving home

Two years later

I learned take aways and cursive

And I could read a paragraph