The Masseuse {COMPLETE}

Chapter 11

"Janet we need to talk."

I felt my heart fall. My stomach started to hurt. Everyone knows when you hear those words it's 99.9% bad news. I just hope that I could be that 1% of good news. I nodded taking a seat on her cream colored couch.

"Jan..." She hesitated then continued, "Janet I'm pregnant and I'm getting married."

I squeezed my eyes shut praying that I was dreaming. Then I opened them seeing that this in fact was very real.

I couldn't say anything as I thought about all the good times we had together. The countless "I love you's" we shared and the loving making was all for nothing. This is why I never let people in.

I always end up getting hurt. I've always been the one to get hurt. I shook my head as the painful tears burned my eyes as they descended down my cheeks.

"This is it then? Isn't it," I responded sounding vulnerable.

"No. We could still be fri---"

"NO," I shouted making her jump, "I don't want to be just friends! I should've...I should've never fallen for you! Now look at me! I'm breaking because of you! I'm crying and I've never cried over anyone! I'm done with all of this!"

Grabbing my purse I stormed out of the door. I quickly got into my car and started my engine. I looked back at the house that we both said we were going to live in together forever one last time. There she stood outside on the porch staring back at me. It just made my heart break more. She mouthed the words 'I love you' which made more tears fall from my eyes.

I shook my head and wiped my tear stained face with my free hand. This was my last time crying over someone who swore up and down that they loved me. Well I loved me, and I believe it's time I start putting myself first.

___

I couldn't believe I was actually thinking about her after all these years. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about what we could've been. She was the love of my life. Yeah was. I snapped out of my daze as I stood firmly on the platform as Missy's solo rap boomed through the arena. The screaming fans just made me feel loved.

More loved than anyone I've been in a relationship with. The curtain then began to rise. It's show time! My most favorite part of the whole show is when I'm sitting down and singing 'Again'. I've always loved this song. I don't know why, but it always sucked me into my feelings.

As I sat down on the stool a fan from the crowd threw me a towel. I replied smiling saying thank you. Then the piano started. I looked into the crowd staring at all the beautiful and amazing fans that I have.

Then my eyes landed on her. The her that I haven't seen in ten years. She smiled at me making my heart skip a beat. Then I remembered that she was the one who caused me all this pain that still lingered inside me.

I averted my eyes to the other side of the arena. The fans took out their phones flashing their flashlights all around the arena. It was like a million fireflies. They were all screaming my name and saying I love you. Some even crying their eyes out. They always made me smile. Then I began singing.

I heard from a friend today
And she said you were in town
Suddenly the memories came back to me in my
Mind

How can I be strong I've asked myself
Time and time I've said
That I'll never fall in love with you again

A wounded heart you gave
My soul you took away
Good intentions you had many
I know you did

I come from a place that hurts
And God knows how I've cried
And I never want to return
never fall again

Making love to you
Oh it felt so good and
Oh so right

So here we are alone again'
Didn't think it'd come to this
And to know it all began
With just a little kiss

I've come too close to happiness
To have it swept away
Don't think I can take the pain
No never fall again

Kinda late in the game and my heart is in
Your hands
Don't you stand there and then
Tell me you love
Me then leave again
Cause I'm falling in love with
You again

Hold me
Hold me
Don't ever let me go
Say it just one time
Say you love me
God knows I do
Love you

I paused for a minute feeling my eyes water. I could hear my heart breaking into a million pieces as I sung the last word to the song.

"Again...."

Then the tears fell like Niagara Falls. They wouldn't stop. Why was I crying over her? I said I would never cry over her again.

The kids then came out on stage holding me close. I wiped my face and took a few deep breaths then the show continued.

___

The show was finally over and for some reason I felt emotionally and physically drained. I was now in my dressing room looking into my mirror. I was waiting for Joey to come and escort me to the tour bus.

I then hear a knock on the door. Assuming it's Joey I open the door, but boy was I wrong. I immediately begin to close the door until a foot stopped it.

"Janet please talk to me," She pleaded.

I turned around facing the only woman who I've ever dreamed of marrying.

"There's nothing to talk about Toni! I want you gone right now!"

She just stood there staring at me.

"LEAVE," I shouted pointing towards the door.

She just nodded and looked at me one more time before leaving. I plopped down on the couch and placed my head in my hands. I felt my eyes welling up again.

"Don't you dare Janet. Don't you dare cry over her," I hissed talking to myself.

Out of nowhere I just snapped throwing everything everywhere. Vases, glassware, makeup, everything. Why did she make me feel this way? Joey then busted into my dressing room watching me in my rage.

"Janet," He yelled.

I ignored him still chunking things from left to right.

"Janet," He yelled again which made me stop.

I turned around looking at him. I bet I looked horrible too. He then walked slowly over to me as I stood in the middle of the floor stuck.

Joey, finally close enough, he pulled me into a heartwarming hug. A hug that was well needed. I broke down feeling the walls cave in all around me. We both slumped to the floor as I cried my heart out.

"Why Joey? Why did she have to come back now," I cried.

He just hushed me rubbing my back. He and I both knew that this wasn't going to be my last time crying over Toni. No this wasn't the last time. I could feel it.