Ordinary Average Guy

Pathetic Comebacks, Peer Pressures, and Lunchroom Daydreams

Pathetic Comebacks, Peer Pressures, and Lunchroom Daydreams

Emma came back to the lunch table with a plate full of macaroni and cheese.  By the time she got there Will and Gordon were already fighting.  Sure, they were best friends, but they fought like a married couple.  Gordon won the fights most of the time, but mainly just because he makes intelligent arguments while Will just kind of says “Your Mom!” or “Your face!”  Seriously?  When are those comebacks going to get old?

“Dude, I liked her first!” Will screamed in rage. 

Luckily the lunchroom was loud all the time so nobody really heard what they were saying.

“It doesn’t matter who saw her first I have every right to ask her out as you do!  It’s the Ninth Amendment, unwritten rights!”

“Your Mom is an unwritten right!” 

Will decided he should start using his best comebacks.

“That doesn’t even make any sense!”  Gordon complained.

“Your Mom doesn’t make any sense!”

“’Your Mom’ is such a lousy comeback!”

“Your face is a lousy comeback!”

“Oh, come on!”  Gordon sighed in frustration.

“Hey, hey clam down guys. What’s the big deal?”  Emma interrupted their argument to try to talk some sense into them.  Gordon responded first.

“We both like the same girl but he thinks because he supposedly liked her first that he is the only one that can ask her out.  I think that it’s anybody’s game.  I’m right, aren’t I?”

“First of all,” Emma started, “there is no ‘game’.  You cannot refer to asking someone out as a ‘game’.  Second of all, Gordon is right.  He has as much of a right to ask her out as a you do, Will”  Emma took another bite of her macaroni and cheese while both boys stayed completely quiet.

“Well?”  Emma asked  in confusion.

“Shhhhh!”  Will whispered. “She’s coming this way!”

Sure enough, Annabelle Lee walked right up to them in her stunning cheerleading uniform.  She stopped at their table and looked at them.  Then, she bent down towards Will and spoke in a soft, calm voice.

“Hey Will, I was wondering if we could talk in the hall for a second…just me and you.”

Will struggled to find himself an answer.  He just sat there mumbling random words.

“Well?”  Annabelle said as she bent down even closer to him.

“Ummm, uhhhh…” 

Will was trying his hardest not to get too nervous.  She was right there.  The girl of his dreams was right there.  He tried not to stare down her shirt, but he could barely resist it.  Then he looked straight up and spit out an answer.

“Yeah, sure.”

He got up and they walked side-by-side out of the cafeteria doors and into the hall way.  About halfway through she stopped and turned to look at him.

She was gorgeous.  Will found it extremely hard to concentrate on what she was saying.  In fact, he was completely blocking her out and just staring into her enchanting eyes.  But then he heard something he wasn’t sure about.

“What?”  Will questioned

“I said, all of my guy friends are going away this weekend to drink and stuff.  I was wondering if you wanted to come over to my house when my parents aren’t home and maybe make out or something.”

“Uhhhh, make out?”  Will was confused.

“I was thinking more like we make out for a couple minutes and then maybe have some sex.”

“Uhhhh, sex?”  Will was still confused.

“Now remember you have to bring your own condoms because you’re the one who’s using them, oh, and nothing too hardcore.  If you start to do anything I don’t approve of, I’ll just tell you ok? You got it?”  

“Uhhhh….”

“Well,” Annabelle was frustrated.  “What’s the answer?  What is the answer?”

Will was in a daze.  And the weird thing is, Annabelle was starting to sound like his science teacher Mrs. Doyle.

“What is the answer?!  Mr. Wilson, what is the answer?”

Will woke up from his daydream and he was being yelled at by Mrs. Doyle.  He didn’t pay any attention to her though; he just looked over to his right at Gordon.  He was smirking at him.

“So, what did you dream about?”

“You really, don’t want to know.”