when there is someone you really want to slap make sure to yell mosquito before you do.
when jealous, wemon do more reserch than the FBI.
my parents told me I should read more than watch tv, so I turned on the subtitles.
*phone rings*
*picks up and answer*
person: are you awake?
me: no, I'm skydiving.
me: I love you a lot.
what I expect: I love you too! :)
boyfriend :k.....
me : -_-
you just broke up with someone and one of Taylor swift's songs suddenly comes on the radio. me: shut the h*** up.... -_-
"cause I knew you were trouble when you walked in"
well if you did why didn't you leave him? I mean your apparently your "lying on the cold hard ground" because of him. "shame on me now" now you say it?!?
*friend notices shiny piece of glass*
friend: oh! that's a beautiful rock!
me: it's a piece of glass... -_-
friend: really?!?
me : *face palm*
I hate it when your cat or dog stares at you even when you change clothes.
we all know that everyone has jumped on the couches to not touch the lava when we were little.
in Florida or California I heard it's the shark attack capital of the world..... well, I know where not to go swimming....
math : mental abuse for humans
if you can convince them, confuse them.
