Normal With You

Chapter 4

"Be a good boy for Mama, okay." She kissed his tiny hands before pushing him inside the room. "Be quiet. Mama will come and fetch you." He wasn't old enough to recognise her frantic movements nor the fear that soaked her voice like a pungent odour.

"Mama-" He made to move towards her.

"Hush." She kissed his forehead before shutting the door. She turned the key in the lock as he waited for her to switch on his lights.

"Claire!" His daddy sounded angry. He always sounded angry. "Where the hell are you?" His father's footsteps pounded up the stairs.

"Mama." He whispered, knowing she was still leaning against his door. "You forgot to switch on my lights."

"Bitch! Did you think I wouldn't figure out you took him out for the day?" His father's voice scared him. Riaz hated when he used those words. They sounded so ugly.

"Please, Zaheer. It's his birthday." She tried to pacify him. "He's always too busy to have fun."

"He doesn't need to have fun. He needs to learn."

"He's only 4." He knew his mother said the wrong thing when he heard her gasp from the other end of his door. "Sorry! I'm so sorry!"

"You don't tell me what to do." His voice felt like poison to Riaz's ears. "Say you're sorry." He sounded as if he was making fun of her.

"Sorry. I'm so sorry." He heard a thud before his mother started to scream.

"Mama, the lights." He began pleading softly. He was feeling so scared in the dark.

"Say you're sorry." His voice only quietened, causing Riaz to shiver in the dark.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry..." He heard a scuffle from outside. "Nee! Los my!"

"Speak in English!" He commanded her.

"I'm sorry... Please." She sounded breathless. Riaz didn't know what was happening. "No, no, no! Stop it!"

"You aren't privileged enough to use the word No in my house." He spat out.

"Mama..." He heard quiet shuffling as his mother kept whispering the words 'stop, I'm sorry' over and over again.

"Mama, you forgot the lights." He huddled down in front of his door with his hands over his ears, trying to block out his mother's whimpers and pleas.

Riaz bolted up from his sleep, his body drenched in sweat.

He hated that dream.

He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes knowing it would be useless to try to go back. His fingers started tapping restlessly against his cream coloured duvet. He needed to smoke so badly, it felt as if every cell in his body was pleading with him but he couldn't. Not after what happened. He didn't want to risk it. He sat up, leaning against the headboard, reaching for his glasses.

What was he supposed to do?

His leg kept tapping under his duvet- He was going crazy. The night was too quiet. There were no crickets chirping their songs nor was the wind trying to sing the world to sleep. It was just him. The air felt too dead and too cold and he didn't like it.

His bare feet padded against the tiles quietly as he walked towards his bag. He still wasn't sure how it was that she managed to sneak notes every single day into his bag. It was quite an impressive feat he supposed.