Normal With You

Chapter 41

Don't fade away.

Please don't fade away.

She held onto herself for as long as she could. She begged and pleaded with herself not to fade away, not to go to that place where she was safe.

She was never safe there. She needed to be safe but no matter how hard she tried to hold onto herself, her mind refused to listen. As his tongue invaded her mouth and his teeth grazed against her lips, she couldn't stop herself from drifting away. Her mind didn't think she could protect herself so she faded away.

Please come back.

Come back.

Don't fade away.

She felt the sand beneath her jeans and the light speckles that pelted her face as the winds picked up but she couldn't smell the air or taste the saltwater around her or hear the waves as it crashed soothingly against the shores. All she could hear and taste and smell was him.

Him.

Just him.

He had shielded them from the view of the few beachgoers but he couldn't shield them from the skies above them who blazed down at him in anger. He could feel sweat running down in rivulets down his back as the sun glared down at him, angry at him, furious at him, punishing him for his actions. It was sweltering hot and he could barely breathe the humid, dank air around him but it was all inconsequential.

Now that he finally had her beneath him, he didn't care.

He wanted her. He wanted to taste her and touch her and hold her. Nothing and no one satisfied him like her, not even...

He shook his head, kissing her along her jawline, grazing his hands along the thin shirt she wore. He wanted her back in his room where he didn't need to restrain himself. He wanted to see her beneath her shirt, gaze at her nakedness beneath him, have her tremble at his touch even if she never made a sound. He knew her, he knew what her gasps meant and he knew why she bit her lip so hard that it bled.

He wanted her and he wanted all of her.

His hands slipped beneath her shirt, his bigger body shielding their view from above as his hands climbed up the curves of her body, pressing and prodding at her waist and stomach till finally he scratched against the thin lace of her bra. His hands dipped beneath the tight wire of her bra, causing her to jolt in discomfort before he enfolded her large breast in his hand. Holding it, pressing it, feeling it. He didn't want to stop.

He couldn't stop.

Not now when he felt her heart rate spike beneath his very fingertips as his mouth tasted the sweat at the hollow of her neck.

Don't fade away.

Stay with me. Don't fade away.

Her breaths were coming out so painfully fast and shallow that she almost felt as if she were not breathing at all. Every part of her that he touched burned and scorched from the inside out as she kept in her cries. She couldn't make a sound, not even one. She couldn't let him know what her body was feeling and how much she despised her stupid, hypocritical body.

Stop.

Please stop and don't let go.

Don't let go.

Don't fade away.

Her eyes shut gently as her mind lifted to a place outside of her body. She couldn't see anything, not a colour or a line or a shape but she could feel. She could feel... nothing. There was nothing in this place. There was no peace, nor discontent, nor strife, nor serenity. There was no colour or sound or black or white. It was a place where nothing, not even mere existence, existed.