Normal With You

Chapter 36

Your children are not your children

They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you, they belong not to you.

"Mum,"Husain set his spoon down gently on his saucer, "I have something I need to tell you."

"Okay." Aamina stirred her coffee, gently allowing all the granules to dissolve.

"I've been complaining about headaches, remember?"

"Uhm hmm." She set her spoon down, giving her son her full attention. She didn't like the fear she saw in his eyes or the trembling of his lips as he tried to gather his words.

"I went to the doctor and he referred me to a specialist."

"And what did he say?" Her voice quivered, unable to gather herself to listen to the answer.

"They found a tumour in my brain." His voice felt dry saying the words and it felt as if he were underwater, trying to shout out for help. His voice felt slow and his mind felt numb as those words escaped his lips. "It's what they call a high grade tumour and I-"He breathed deeply, cutting himself off.

"High grade tumour?"

"I don't know what's going to happen Mum."

"Okay.'She nodded her head, trying to assure herself. "We'll get through it, okay? We'll get through it."

He smiled at her, though his eyes told her that he had already given up the fight and it crushed her.

...

"Do you remember when you used to visit us?" Aamina asked, a sense of nostalgia washing over her as she looked at Tasneem.

"A little."

"Your Dad would always trail water through my house after you came back from the beach. He would make a mess but he would never even bother apologising for it."

Tasneem laughed at the memory. She would always come home dripping wet and her costume would always be filled with sand. Her father would just laugh and carry her up to the bathroom before her mother helped her in the bath and she never once took notice of the mess they left behind.

"That was your father." She sighed, reliving those days in her head. "He had a beautiful heart but he never bothered cleaning up his own messes."

...

"I'm tired Mum." Aamina looked up from her Qur'aan to the sickly figure lying on the hospital bed in front of her.

"Tired of what?"

"I'm just tired." He shrugged, staring up at the ceiling.

"You heard the doctor. Half the battle is in your head." She looked at him, desperation clouding her eyes, begging him to fight for just a little while longer.

"I'm tired of fighting." He looked at her, praying she would understand. "The radiation isn't working. You know that as well as I do. And what's after that? Surgery? More radiation? What?" He sounded angry and frustrated and the more he spoke the worse he felt. "I'm sick of this God damned hospital and these nurses staring at my face the whole day. I'm sick of it."

Aamina left him to speak. The doctors warned her that his emotions might be unstable and that if he got angry, talking might provoke an ever bigger outburst.