Normal With You

Chapter 48

He was 5 years old when was told to lay down on a hospital gurney for the first time. His jaw had been dislocated and his father was unsure if it would heal properly on its own. He didn't like the smell that had pricked at his nose neither did he care for the blast of cold air as it filtered through the vents of the aircon above him. But he didn't complain. He was silent as he watched his father talk to the doctor just outside the door.

They were arguing yet their voices never increased a decibel past angered whispers. The doctor shook his head repeatedly and kept pointing at Riaz and every time he did so, Zaheer's face darkened more and more. Riaz could feel a tremor pass through his body as he looked up at his father's angry posture, recalling only too well what came after that.

"I could destroy you." Zaheer said carefully, cutting of the shorter man's rants. "You'd be wise to think very, very carefully about your next action considering what I know about you."

"But..." Zaheer could only stare as a single tear dropped down the man's face, falling off his cheek and onto the bleak grey tile below his feet.

"Do I have your co-operation?" Zaheer knew a broken resolution when he saw one, and right now, this man was putty in his hands.

"Yes."

Zaheer didn't see the look of absolute disgust that passed over the doctor's face as he turned around but Riaz saw it. Riaz watched as pity and disgust welled up in his eyes as he looked over the young boy shaking on the bed before him. But, like many before him, he ignored his humanity as he stepped forward and began to inspect the boy.

Like many before him, he destroyed himself because he chose not to see.

And it killed him.

Riaz watched him, looking at him over the smooth wooden edge of the back of his chair.

He must have smoked something like an entire box before he even stepped foot into the hospital but still, he couldn't stop his heart from pounding painfully against his ribs as he walked down the corridors to room 502. He didn't want to see his father again. He didn't want to be near him but he had to do it. The only reason he had ever stepped foot into that room was because his father was in a coma and would never even know that he was there. He would have never even considered it otherwise.

It was odd watching Zaheer.

Time seemed to have never passed at all as Riaz looked at him. Almost a decade had gone by without him even catching a single glimpse of his father but the concept of space and time had seemed to evaporate entirely as his green eyes roved over his father's figure.

He was 18 again, fear still coursing through his veins as easily as a blood molecule passing through his capillaries. Nothing had changed. Not him, not his father and not the feeling deep within his heart. He still felt hopeless and worthless under his father's gaze.

He was still too small in his father's eyes and he would never be able to help anyone because how could he? He was a speck of dust in the grand scheme of things and specks of dust were never able to achieve anything.

His father was still the same man.

And no stroke would ever change that.

"Riaz." It was the same man as last time. He had wrapped Riaz's hand in a bandage far too large for him as he distracted him with silly jokes spoken in kind words. It had taken a painstaking hour to remove every shard of glass from his arm but Riaz barely felt it. His back was still burning too badly for him to feel anything else.