Desire ❃ newt

cнapтer 28

Just after I heard the grind and rumble of stone against stone announce the closing of the Doors for the day, Newt showed up, which was a huge surprise. Then the door to the cell swung wide open.

"Did you find out what I am?" I asked, springing up from the bed. I've been stuck in this room all day and I mine as well of been locked in the Slammer like Thomas.

Before Newt could answer, Alby waltzed into the room.

"Ain't dead, are ya, shank?" Alby asked. He looked so much better than the day before, I couldn't help staring at him. His skin was back to full color, his eyes no longer crisscrossed with red veins; he seemed to have gained fifteen pounds in twenty-four hours.

Alby noticed me goggling. "Shuck it, what you lookin' at?"

I shook my head slightly, feeling like I had been in a trance. My mind was racing, wondering what Alby remembered, what he knew, what he might say about me. "Wha—nothing. Just seems crazy you healed so quickly. You're fine now?"

Alby flexed his right bicep. "Ain't never been better—come on out."

I did, hoping my eyes weren't flickering, making my concern obvious.

Alby closed the Homestead door after Newt walked out, then turned to face me. "Actually, nothin' but a lie. I feel like a piece of klunk twice crapped by a Griever."

"Yeah, you looked it yesterday." When Alby glared, I hoped it was in jest and quickly clarified. "But today you look brand-new. I swear."

Alby put the keys in his pocket and leaned back against the Homestead's door. "So, quite the little talk we had yesterday."

Newt had already left. My heart pounded. I had no idea what to expect from Alby at that point. "Uh... yeah, I remember."

"I saw what I saw, Greenie. It's kinda fadin', but I ain't never gonna forget. It was terrible. Tried to talk about it, somethin' starts choking me. Now the images are gettin' up and gone, like that same somethin' don't like me remembering."

The scene from the day before flashed in my mind. Alby thrashing, trying to strangle himself— I wouldn't have believed it had happened if I hadn't seen it myself. Despite fearing an answer, I knew I had to ask the next question. "What was it about me—you kept saying you saw me. What was I doing?"

Alby stared at an empty space in the distance for a while before answering. "You were with the... Creators. They were testing on you. But that ain't what got me shook up."

I felt like someone had just rammed their fist in my abdomen. They were running tests on me? I couldn't form the words to ask what that meant.

Alby continued. "I hope the Changing doesn't give us real memories—just plants fake ones. Some suspect it—I can only hope. If the world's the way I saw it..." He trailed off, leaving an ominous silence.

I was confused, but pressed on. "Can't you tell me what you saw about me?"

Alby shook his head. "No way, shank. Ain't gonna risk stranglin' myself again. Might be something they got in our brains to control us—just like the memory wipe."

"Well, if I'm evil, maybe you should lock me up." I half meant it.

"Greenie, you ain't evil. You might be a shuck-faced slinthead, but you ain't evil." Alby showed the slightest hint of a smile, a bare crack in his usually hard face.

I was so relieved that Alby thought I was okay, I only heard about half of what the older boy had just said.

"How bad was it? Your memories that came back."

"I remembered things from growin' up, where I lived, that sort of stuff. And if God himself came down right now and told me I could go back home..." Alby looked to the ground and shook his head again. "If it was real, Greenie, I swear I'd go shack up with the Grievers before goin' back."

I was surprised to hear it was so bad—I wished Alby would give details, describe something, anything. But I knew the choking was still too fresh in Alby's mind for him to budge. "Well, maybe they're not real, Alby. Maybe the Grief Serum is some kind of psycho drug that gives you hallucinations." I knew I was grasping at straws.

Alby thought for a minute. "A drug... hallucinations..." Then he shook his head. "Doubt it."

It had been worth a try. "We still have to escape this place."

"Yeah, thanks, Greenie," Alby said sarcastically. "Don't know what we'd do without your pep talks." Again, the almost-smile.

Alby's change of mood broke me out of my gloom. "Quit calling me Greenie. The girl's the Greenie now."

"Okay, Greenie." Alby sighed, clearly done with the conversation. "Go find some dinner—your starting as a med-jack tomorrow."

A med-jack?

Really?

Why couldn't I be a Runner? Oh yeah, because they think I'm a weak and useless girl.

Despite wanting answers, I was ready to get away from the Homestead. Plus, I was starving. I grinned at Alby, then headed straight for the kitchen and food.

Dinner was awesome.

Frypan had left a plate full of roast beef and potatoes; a note announced there were cookies in the cupboard.

Newt joined me as I ate, prepping me a little before his first big day of med-jack training, giving me a few stats and interesting facts. Things for me to think about as I went to sleep that night.

When they were finished, I headed back to the secluded place where I had slept the night before, in the corner behind the Deadheads. I thought about my conversation with Chuck, wondered how it would feel to have parents say good night to you.

Several boys milled about the Glade that night, but for the most part it was quiet, like everyone just wanted to go to sleep, end the day and be done with it. I didn't complain—that was exactly what I needed.

The blankets someone had left for me the night before still lay there. I picked them up and settled in, snuggling up against the comforting corner where the stone walls met in a mass of soft ivy. The mixed smells of the forest greeted me as I took my first deep breath, trying to relax. The air felt perfect, and it made me wonder again about the weather of the place. Never rained, never snowed, never got too hot or too cold. If it weren't for the little fact they were torn apart from friends and families and trapped in a Maze with a bunch of monsters, it could be paradise.

Some things here were too perfect. I knew that, but had no explanation.

Tomorrow, my training would begin.

Tomorrow. The word floated in my mind until I finally fell asleep.