Aiko
I wish I could say something about today differed from all the other. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't. Waking up at the crack of dawn to a cranky Journee was all so familiar to me. Don't get me wrong I love her with everything in me but sometimes I really just need help. I'm not saying I can't do this all by myself because I clearly am. A break once in a while would be great thou. Being a parent is a full time job. Well at least for one of her parents. I work my day around a call that doesn't always come, and when it does I don't have much to say. Not being able to communicate with your bestfriend, the person you created a beautiful soul with, and someone who still holds a part to your heart simply because you grew apart. Seeing that same person twice a month. Why stay? Honestly, I don't know why I'm still here.
I guess I kind of thought he'd come around. Obviously, I was clearly wrong. Maybe the thought of a family with the white picket fence that only existed to us. Love is the only realistic answer I could think of. I'm unsure of what love is anymore. This couldn't be it. The sound of the front door opening snapped me out of my thoughts. I sighed as I heard the footsteps up the staircase.
Jermaine
Driving home all I could think about was Aiko. I hope she wasn't on no bullshit tonight. She should be grateful I flew home tonight. I could be at the studio perfecting my game. I'm living my dream. Everybody else it just part of the banwagon including her. If I said I was the same person I was last year, you could label me a liar. Life on that road gets lonely. Girls in the hotel lobbies. Shit, some of them knock on your room door ready to do whatever you want, and yeah I took a couple up on their offers. Could you blame me? I got main side bitch on speed dial. Lawd knows I get no play at home. Aiko will never know.
I walked up the staircase ready for whatever. I walked in the room to an unreadable Aiko.
"How long you staying?" she questioned dryly. "Two days." I replied.
Soon regretting it as hurt washed across her face. Awkward silence filled them room interrupted by Journee's baby talk. I picked her up and she immediately started crying. She looked at me as if I was a stranger, before reaching for Aiko. I have no one to blame for the way I feel but me. Aiko left the room leaving me with my thoughts. The shit I do all for my dream. I really don't know why I came home. How the fuck am I suppose to be a dad? I don't need this stress throwing me off my game. I'm gone in the morning fuck two days. Nothing will come between me and my dream.
Aiko
I haven't heard from Jermaine since he came home. That was two weeks ago. He's busy with work, was the only justified answer I could come up with. I made a bottle with Journee stuck to my hip which wasn't unfamiliar. I sat down feeding it to her taking in all her features. She was beautiful. I won't lie I'm sightly bias because she's mine. One thing I know for sure is nothing this beautiful should be a secret. She was a perfect mixture of the both of us. Watching her grow is the most amazing thing, minus the fact Jermaine's never here to witness it. Me, Journee, this big ass empty house, and my thoughts were beyond old now. I've been cooped up in here so look I doubt I could hold an adult conversation.
Getting up to lay Journee on the couch I knock over a picture. After laying her down carefully I picked up the picture. I flipped it over revealing us in high school, smiles from ear to ear, and happiness written on our faces. If you would've of described my present life to me then, I wouldn't have believed you. A tear tried to escape me eye but I refused to let it. Honestly, I tired of crying. I tired of being a secret. I'm tired of everything. I just need a way out. It's not like I'm being locked down here, but I have no where to go. Staying here I know Journee will be forever taken care of, but what about my dream.
I grabbed my notebook and did what I did best. Jermaine's music found away out for him maybe mine could too.
