love or lust | jg & cd

Ch. 17

Sydney's POV

Seven minutes.

That's how long Cameron and I locked lips on the beach.

Seven. Whole. Minutes.

When you think about it, seven minutes really isn't that much time. I mean, that game that people used to play in high school where you're picked to go into a closet for seven minutes with a hot guy is not that long. You go in there and attempt for seven painful minutes to spark a conversation, then try to mask your pain when you realize that he never really wanted to talk to you, he kinda just wanted to get in your pants. That happened to me anyways. Yeah, they should rename that game 7 minutes of awaiting awkwardness.

But kissing Cameron on the beach was much different. As cliche as it sounds it is unlike anything I've ever felt. Mostly because he attempted to caress my legs and stomach but ended up ticking me because his fingers were coated with sand. Screw the butterflies in my stomach; how about a whole swarm of them. His lips were soft like he constantly exfoliates them. He was gentle with his placement too, only allowing his big hands to roam to my face and neck, even though in the moment, my teenage hormones were begging for him to touch me elsewhere. Thinking about it now under the suffocating protection of my duvet, I'm still not sure if I should want to feel the way his lips fit mine again.

I'm not the type to take a particular liking in feeling like putty in someone's hands. Before my whole incident with Chris, being vulnerable was just something that came naturally to me. I was soft. Always wanting to open up to people. Blah, blah, blah. He made me realize that you cannot let your walls down. Letting your walls down means letting the enemy forces annihilate your troops who seem too stupid to put up a fight. It means getting your heartbroken, and I can't let that happen.

Kissing Cameron made me forget; forget about what happened with Chris. And as much as I love the fact that he has the ability, it's dangerous to let myself forget. It pains me, but I have to remember what it feels like to be betrayed, and I have to be able to see through a "good guy" facade that so many people wear nowadays. The last thing I need is to become attached to Cameron just to get played. Come to think of it, why wouldn't he play me? He's so irritatingly gorgeous. He could land any girl he wanted, and he probably does. But I don't see how he could fake the whole "caring for the wreck less girl" thing. Maybe he's being genuine.

You thought Chris was being genuine too. And we both remember how swimmingly that worked out, don't we? My subconscious chimes in. I shudder at the thought of it. Sometimes I really hate her.

I am broken out of my thoughts when I visibly jump at the sound of someone bursting through my door. I sit up anxiously, but the hope drains visibly from my face when I see an excited looking Shawn standing before me. Why would I hope it was Cameron anyways?

The excited grin that he wore only moments ago falters as he takes in my facial expression. "What? Not so happy to see me?" He fumbles around with the plain strap that holds the guitar which is slung around his shoulder.

I wipe the disappointed look from my face and replace it with a smile. "Sorry Shawn, I was just expecting someone else." I shrug.

He raises an eyebrow skeptically at me, but he must've noticed my pleading look because he doesn't push it.

"Well I finished the song." He recovers, the excitement returning to his features.

"Really?" I ask, matching his enthusiasm.

"Yeah it only took like and hour after you left my room, but I didn't want it to sound bad so I just sang it over and over making sure it was perfect." He blushes.