Don't Expect A Fairytale.

9. BLOW A KISS, FIRE A GUN

*EVA'S POV*

Lying was something that I honestly hated as a kid. Every single time I would lie to my mother, the guilt would creep in and I'd end up telling her the truth, no matter how harsh it was. Despite that, she would never get too angry since I had been honest with her.

Since she had died, there was no one I had to look up to or even talk to for that matter. All my 'friends' never cared what was going on at someone else's house, they were all too busy trying to be the center of attention to notice someone was hurt. The only questions Melissa asked me were regarding her clothes or makeup, what looked good or didn't, what new fad diet she was onto at the moment was working or not, the new watch she had brought was expensive enough or whether I thought some boy that had caught her fancy was hot or just nah. So I never felt bad about lying to anyone about my life since they never even paid attention to it, it was never important enough, but the party at so-and-so's house was.

But the thing is, I never realized how intrusive the English project would be. It was my life story, after all. So I had to lie to Michael too. I thought the guilt from lying was long gone, but it was back again when I lied to Michael. The guy had been brutally honest with me, even telling me the pet names his parents gave him. He'd told me everything without hesitation, from his love for rock music, his cats, playing guitar ...everything. Then there was me, overthinking and changing every answer to something that won't affect my status.

Also, this wasn't the only thing I was guilty about. I was guilty about snapping at him in school. I felt guilty about judging him when I saw someone else do it; a mother of two pulling her children away from him. I felt even more guilty about judging him when I got to know that he's actually not a serious, shy nerd, which was evident when he joked that I should put 'pale, milky white' instead of just white in ethnicity and laughed about it, which was rather funny and had me choking on air from guffawing too hard. I laughed even harder when he told me that one time he had actually tried a fake tan as a little, fed up child influenced by an ad in his mom's magazine. He ended up with patchy orange skin and she had to help him clean it up. I felt even guiltier when I saw Josh bump into him on purpose this morning, which caused him to scatter his books, and I just watched it happen as everyone else laughed round him. I wanted to help, but I didn't know what to do without snapping at Josh.

I was already angry at him and Melissa for hiding behind my back and doing shit together, I didn't need him being a jerk to others as well. I had being doing my best to avoid them all morning, walking to school before Josh could come to pick me up, taking a different route so he won't see me and reaching just before the bell so I didn't have to linger in the corridors.

Right now, it was the break and I was seated between Leena and Eric and not them as usual. Josh and Melissa didn't bother asking me though, they were too busy with each other, whispering and giggling. Every kiss I've ever shared with Josh felt like a bullet wound in my head, like the red was a shade of mockery saying 'Oh look, he's done with you now, and he isn't even looking your way, even though he knows he's hurt you.'  Leena, who had been really nice and had been keeping me company all day, looked like she wanted to kill them. Eric, who was pretty close to me already, had been looking at them and his watch alternately, as if he couldn't wait to get away from them. I felt the same too, along with hurt, betrayed, mega pissed off and vengeful, with the idea of borrowing some hair dye from Michael and mixing it with her bleach blonde hair dye floating in my head.

As the bell rang, we three rushed out, but not without curious glances from others. We weren't, after all, known for being early to classes.

"Do you want me to talk to him? Punch him?" Says Eric. If this was a cartoon, there would be smoke coming from his ears by now. "Tell me, and I'll do it."

"I'll join you, help you out. HAPPILY!" Says Leena, fuming too.

"Guys chill. I'm just gonna ignore them, okay?" I say in an attempt to restore peace.

"But then they'll keep taking you for granted!" Says Leena, exasperated.

"Well, that's how it's going to be. I get it, you guys are my friends, but I don't want any fights, not right now. Let me think it through, and I'll tell you what to do, if anything." I reply.

"Well okay, but think quickly, I don't want you getting hurt even more." Eric says and I smile at both of them.

"Oh and hey, thanks for caring so much for me. Especially you, Leena. You barely know me and you're being there for me, I really appreciate it." I say. ...And they both look pretty surprised.

"Wow. Well, um, you're welcome Eva!" She says, her mouth agape in what I guess was shock before they walk off to their next class.

...Am I really that bad?