Wasted Time

d.

Who knew you could do this to me? We had so much in common that I could understand you more then I can myself. We walked on water together and just your image could send me falling.

Our first kiss couldn't have been more perfect. I teased you and you teased back. I can still feel the butterflies when you stood 3 inches from me. How our clothes touched but never our skin. I blush every time I remember the intense look in your eyes that I had to look away from. I remember looking at your lips and wondering what they taste like or if they are as soft as they look. I remember you slowly leaning in and watching for my sign of permission. I remember how delicate the kiss was, like a feather on my lips. Slow at first, barely more than a breath. You were so gentle when you grabbed my waist and closed those three inches and pressing me to you. You wanted not to pressure me and treated it like I was China.

I remember the night we went to the movies and you let me choose. The light smack to your shoulder when I found out you hated it. We talked and laughed at the people around us the whole movie and by the end I think everyone hated but that never bothered us. How you walked me to the front door and talked to me for another hour. I had hugged you that night at held my hands at your shoulders only to slide them down your arms and grab your hands. I remember being embarrassed and dropping your hands from my grip only for you to grab them again and give me a light kiss goodnight.

I realized that the most beautiful love is the one you don't expect or notice forming. That is develops so naturally that one day you think 'damn, I'm in love'. I would like to believe that this happens to me with how you made me feel. I felt like a lady when I was around you. I felt loved in your arms, I felt fragile with your kiss, I felt happy with your presence. However, I didn't plan on falling for you and you loving someone else.

The day you told me that you still loved her was the day I broke. You said you needed time and I trusted that. You don't forget love you just make new ones. I thought that maybe if I gave you time and separation that you would want me to come back and miss me. I didn't think you would take that time to go back to her like you promised you wouldn't. I didn't think that you would go behind my trust and take her on dates. I didn't think you would use me as a second choice, a back up plan. But this is what I became.

You used me and lied to yourself about your feelings. Your love for her never stopped. You left me with the memories that you replaced with her. I would have been there, I would have picked up your pieces. I would have loved you, I would have trusted and protected your heart. But you where blind to your own heart to realize that you were breaking mine. Don't worry about me though, I will never regret being a chapter in your fairy-tale.