adopted by taylor swift

chapter 9

*2 months later*
Bella's Pov.
Things have gotten better I can say that much but the self harm is back, and so is the eating disorder well not so much the eating disorder like I can handle myself sometimes but other times it just gets really bad it's almost Christmas by the way and this will be my first Christmas without my mom and dad, this will also be my first Christmas with Taylor which is a good thing, Taylor doesn't know about my self harm I'm very good at hiding it she does give me worried looks at times but she just shakes it off and continues on a normal day I'm actually pretty glad she hasn't seen them because I don't want a lecture right now

"Bella can you come downstairs I need to talk to you" I heard Taylor call me downstairs and I'm very curious to know what she needs to talk to me about I put on a loose hoodie, and walked downstairs Taylor was on the couch and motioned for me to sit down next to her "Yes Taylor?" I call her mom only sometimes it's still new for me and I'm not quite that comfortable yet to call her mom all the time and she understands "Bella for Christmas I was thinking we could go to my parents house, they have been wanting to meet you ever since I adopted you but we've been so busy, and they can't wait to see you." I was actually pretty nervous to meet her parents "okay sure, I'm excited to meet them" I said but I'm dying inside what if they don't like me? what if the make Taylor take me back? I already don't trust Taylor fully and I hope her parents won't make her change her mind about me

I know Taylor says she loves me but I can't help but think how one day she will replace me either with a boy or her own kid I know how easily replaceable I am and I don't want Taylor to leave me, this is too much thinking for me, "So is that all you wanted to talk about?" I said sounding a bit eager to leave already it was too much thinking and I honestly didn't want to think right now "Well, Bella I just wanted to make sure you're okay you've been so distant ever since you've had that bad dream" she seemed very worried, and I kinda felt bad "I'm sorry Taylor it's just hard for me to let you in or anyone after that dream I can't help to think maybe it was a sign maybe one day when you have a kid or get married I will be thrown to the curve it's happened before and I don't want to let you in because if I do then when you leave me it will hurt so much but if I'm distant when you leave it won't take as much effect" she looked at me a bit sad and confused probably because she didn't know I was thinking that all along

"Bella remember that talk we had that night well all the words I said I meant, no one and I mean no one can replace a special girl like you, you are my entire life Bella I wish you could see that, babe let me in I will never leave you or push you to the curve, I can't help you be happy if you don't let me in, I don't want us to have this kind of relationship where we only talk once a week or a month I want us to be close I love you so much Bella all you need to do is let me in" I honestly don't know what to do at this point I mean I could see how Taylor was really trying here but it's just hard "I guess I will try" she smiled and hugged me "thank you so much Bella I love you!"

Her hugs always made me feel safe and I loved when she hugged me especially at times like these where I just don't know what to do with my life, Taylor soon pulled away and brushed some of my hair behind my ear "are you hungry?" she asked "no not really I made something for myself earlier" I lied, I didn't feel like eating right now but if I told Taylor that she would get all worried and it's honestly not a big deal on why I'm not eating right now "oh okay, well if you get hungry later just tell me okay?" I nodded and headed back to my room and plopped on my bed

Trusting Taylor fully might be easier than I thought I could tell she is trying to make an effort and honestly I love her support and love, I don't like pushing it away but just to spare my feelings I had too, I'm honestly going to try and let her in, she is my mom now.
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okay so I know people are wondering who Bella looks like and stuff well basically she looks like cara delevingne
alright well I will update again soon
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bye!!