I love him but I shouldn't

8.control

The next morning was a Saturday. Stiles woke up and turn meover and kissed me. "Morning baby" he said.
"Mm" I moaned back at him.
"Come on get up." He said.
"No."
"Why not?" He asked.
"Because I don't want to wake up knowing my phsycotic brother wants to kill me so I cannot be alpha and he can." I answered.
"He won't touch you." He said back.
"How do you know this. I'm weak. I don't have a pack, I'm all alone and have no one. I can't defend myself and you're human. You can't Protect either." I said.
"Wow. Way to make me feel good about myself" Stiles said back.
"You can't always protect me like I can't always protect myself, like Scott and Allison they can't always protect each other nor themselves. Especially if you're a human you can't guarantee I'll be safe." I said.
"Casey, do you even hear yourself? This is rediculous. I'd risk my life if it meant you were safe. You mean the world to me."
"Stiles, if you risked your life for me I'd lose it. I'm already beginning to lose control. When I caught Masons scent I Began losing control. If it gets any worse I could kill someone. That's why I don't want your protection. I love you but sometimes I just don't need it." I said to him.
"Okay." He said as he left the room.

I walked down stairs about 10 minutes after to see Scott and Derek standing with Stiles. "What's going on?" I asked.
"Were going to help you gain control." Derek said.
"Get in your gym clothes babe." Stiles said.
The four of us headed out to the woods.
Stiles watched while Scott and Derek took turns in beating the fuck out of me.
"Come on Case, get angry." Scott said.
"If you get angry there's more of a chance we can help you." Derek added.
I ran at Derek with my claws out and Derek grabbed my hand and twisted it while he kicked my gut. Then let go. I fell to the floor. When I got up Scott punched me in the face but I was still standing. He picked me up by my throat and held me to the ground.
"I'm a born wolf too Case, it's supposed to be easy but it's not. In my opinion being a born wolf is harder than being bitten. Scott seems to control it fairly easy. Derek explained. Derek helped me up then Scott came from behind and bent my arm back. "Ahh fuck!" I yelled.
"Get angry Casey you can do it." Stiles said.
"I took deep breath and focused on my families death and my hatred for Mason. My eyes glew beta gold and my teeth showed. I growled. "That's it!" Scott said.
Scott and Derek both attacked from different directions. I fought Scott pretty well considering he was also a beta but Derek not so much. Derek put me on my ass plenty times. I started to get really angry and lose control. "Hey, hey Casey, Casey look at me. Casey look focus. Focus on your anchor." That strategy didn't seem to work on me. "Casey focus." Derek told me.
"I can't. It doesn't work" I told them.
"What about the tresquelion?" Stiles asked.
"It was destroyed" Derek answered.
"Stiles" Scott whispered to himself.
"Stiles, focus on Stiles." Scott told me.
"Baby. Hey hey. Baby focus on my voice. I'm trying to help you. Casey. Case baby, I'm here. Focus forget about everything. Focus on the first time we met, our first kiss, the first time you saw me, our first time. Focus on how it made you feel, how much you love me, focus on how much I mean to you. Focus on me." Stiles had found a way to calm me down.

"It's like the only way she can control herself is when he talks to her, when she can hear his voice." Scott said to Derek.
"She's a rare kind of wolf. More rare than a born wolf." Derek said.
"What do you mean rare? What kind of wolf is she?" Scott asked.
"She's a Vertigo. Very rare and takes years to gain control. Sometimes they don't gain control. She can find control when the person who means most to her is guiding her to focus, helping her. Her family was the vertigo pack meaning they have an alpha by oldest child it's more of a family thing. She's also strong willed and courageous." Derek explained to Scott.
"Woah, so The one she loves helps her regain focus and that's the only thing that can help her" Scott said.
"Basically. Our families were close when the twins and I were very young. I was good Mates with Eli." Derek said.

Stiles kissed me once I had calmed down. "Are you okay?" Stiles asked.
"Y-yeah." I answered.