I love him but I shouldn't

11.energy

When Stiles and I got to Dereks after school Scott and Liam were already there. I explained what happened in P.E and when we all turned around Mason was there. Liam ran at one of his pack members and held him to the floor. Derek ran at mason and held his throat to the blood using his knee and all his strength. It was on Scott and I's pack onto Masons. It was a fairly fair fight until we heard arrows and gun shots from Allison and her Father. I lifted the wolf's body that I had up to help Scott and Allison's arrow went throttle wolf's head, throat and heart. The arrow that went through the heart was fairly close to my nose and was dipped in wolfsbane. I threw the dead body down and did a backfill over to Stiles, the two of us held an arm each while I held his head and Allison shot him straight to the heart. When I looked for scott he was no where go be seen. "Scott? Scott where the fuck are you?" I called out. When I looked over to the stairs scott was lying there covered in blood I ran over and performed CPR. He lifted his head and took a huge gasp for air "Derek?" Scott said sounding concerned. When I looked over Mason was about to tear his head off until I jumped on Mason and got angry to get him off of Derek. I growled and snapped my teeth at him. Liam got on his back and held his head back while scott grabbed one arm and twisted and Derek put the other to his back. I crawled out from under that to see Stiles on the floor, I ran over and held his hand "get up" I said as he spat the blood from his mouth. He pushed me away and Stood up. I was highly confused about why he pushed me away. I sat and watched as he walked over to Mason punching him repeatedly then kicking him in the guts. I tried to pull Stiles back and stop him but he kept pushing me back everytime. "Stiles stop!" I tried to yell but once again pushed me away.
He eventually stopped and turned "why are you protecting him?!" He yelled back at me.
"Because you're going to kill his and I can't let you do that." I explained.
"Why won't you let me kill him?" He asked.
"Because that's not the way of the pack, that's not what we do." I told him.
"Maybe I don't want to live the way of the rest of the pack" he yelled back at me.
"S-Stiles, you don't mean that. Come on you don't want to be a killer, you don't want to feel like it's always the right thi-"
"Not killing isn't always the solution either!" He yelled cutting me off.
"Stiles this isn't true, I know you don't mean that." I said right before one of Allison's arrows came flying through hitting Him in the heart then another in the head. "Being a werewolf really has changed you." I said with tears in my eyes.
"Yeah, I guess it has" he replied.
"I-I need to go get some air" I said as I turned away from Stiles and ran off into the woods and sat at the view point.

After sitting at the view point for half an hour on my own I had tears running down my face and 14 missed calls from Scott. "H-hey. I knew you'd be here" I heard what sounded like Stiles say. I wiped my tears and smiled at him. He sat beside me "sorry about tonight" he said breaking the silence.
"Sorry, is that it?" I said as I turned to him.
"What else do you expect me to say?" He said.
"An explanation of why you were acting up, why you were being a selfish cunt, why you kept pushing me away." I said.
He sat quietly not saying a word. "See, you can't even explain yourself Stiles." I said.
"Cas-" he tried to say reaching for my hand.
"No." I said pulling my hand away cutting Him off.
"I need time, space and a break." I added to my original sentence.
"Are you breaking up with me?" He asked for some clarification.
"Y-yes." I said as I stood up and walked off to my car and drove home.

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At school the next day I walked over to Scott and told him everything. "I personally think you will work things out" Scott said as I looked up and saw stiles walking towards us. "H-hey I gotta go" I said as Stiles got closer. When he walked passed me he said hi but I just snuck in a small smile and continued to walk to English.

In class we were talking about relationships and I could feel Stiles stare at the back of my head. When miss Calaster got to the part about break ups and relationships I got up and left the class with Stiles following behind me.
"Casey wait!" I heard him yell once he left the class.
"What?" I said as I turnt around wiping the tears.
"Are you okay?" He asked stepping towards me holding my face.
"Do I look okay?" I responded wiping more tears away.
"C-Mon don't be like that Casey" he told me.
"Why?" I asked.
"Because I love you and hate seeing you like that" Stiles said with a firm smile on his face.
"I know" I said letting out a small smile.
"What's the real reason you broke up with me?" He asked.
"Don't do this." I said.
"Why not?" He asked.
"Because I'm clearly in a very emotional state not wanting to discuss our break up." I explained.
"Just tell me!" He ordered.
"Fine! Because after that I didn't think I could trust you. You were going to kill him and disobey the pack, it was wrong and all you did was push me away and tell me no." I explained.
"I was doing it so you wouldn't get hurt!" He yelled back at me.
"Were you though Stiles?" I asked him.
"Don't believe me then fine. I don't care anymore." He said as he walked off of school grounds kicking a bin.

And with that I think my heart just shattered more than it already had. One last tear fell from my eyes and off my cheek onto the floor right before wiping my eyes.