A Mistaken Wish (#Wattys2016)

Chapter 12- Chances

"The best thing you can give to someone is a CHANCE"

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SHE

'Why is it so hard....STUPID mind..!'

'AAAGGHH!!', I' reaching the peak of my frustration. Its been 4 days since I have been trying to avoid HIM....keyword 'TRYING'. Its not for the first time I'm trying to avoid someone and to be true it was never too tough because I didn't care about them nor has anyone ever affected me like HE was affecting me. It been literally killing me to avoid him, to ignore his adorable eyes on me, his puppy dog face, his hard jawline.....WAIT what am I even thinking...!!

What the hell is wrong with me.....why am I even feeling anything....why does it hurt ignoring him...I have never felt that way before....why now??? What's happening to me....why can't I get him out of my mind...why is every ounce of my wit is telling me I'm an idiot to avoid him, after all he is just a guy I met a few days back, he is nothing to me, then why.....!!

I need help and Himanshu is the only person who can help......only he understands me to levels nobody else did...we always clicked..!!

So I went to school and told him I wanted to talk to him and so we went to ground for a walk and there I told him everything I was feeling and things going in my mind...he just listened patiently to everything I have to say. He said the most unbelievable thing to me.

He said,"Ashi you have feelings for this guy. I won't say it is love because its too early to say that but you definitely have some feelings for him and from as far as I have noticed him that day and from what you have told I think he feels for you too". I was stunned by his words."

"you are kidding right...!!", I said.

"I'm not", he said.

"how can you of all people say that. I thought you knew me the best. You know I'm many things but a love material. Ashi and Love don't even come in same sentence until its 'Ashi can't Love'. You know I'm not a relationship material Hemu. Love is not ment for me.", I said to him.

"how can you say that love is not ment for you, when you never even gave it a shot", he replied.

"'you don't have to put your freaking ass on fire to know that fire burns',when has any relationship ever worked. It all just has to end so why even waste time on it in first place.", I said.

"you are just scared to face Love." He said

"no I'm being smart not to fall for something which will hurt me and destroy me in ways no one knows" , I retorted.

He stood right in front of me and said ,"That's not being smart that's being coward Ashi. You are judging things you don't even know about. Like no two people are same same way no two relationships are same. I know you have not seen a lot of successful relationships in life but that does not mean you can never have a happy one. You are just downright rejecting it from what you saw."

"I don't know if I can Hemu ever, I don't trust anyone you know I can't" I said knowing he would see right through everthing I pulled up.

"you have to give it a try someday", he stated as a matter of fact.

"what if I end up being hurt...? I don't think I'm that strong that I will be able to take it" I said looking at him.

"Ashi I won't gurnatee you that you won't be hurt but I know that you are strong enough to survive it....its very rightly said 'what doesn't kills you makes you strong'. You have to learn to let go of your past and embrace your present and welcome your future. The more you stay away from emotions and feeling the more your past will overshadow your future....give someone a chance to show you the real meaning of love, let them tell you how it feels to be loved and Shiven is not a really wrong bet for it."

"Someday the princess will have to face the sun and let the Ice melt." With that we walked back in to class and I knew that I have done some really good deed to have such a friend in my life.

The afternoon went by with me thinking over what Himanshu said to me.

*Maybe he was right, maybe I should give Love a chance, before loneliness is all I'm left with*

I went to the coaching in evening, we didn't had our first lecture so I was standing on the terrace and thinking...I was too lost in thinking that I didn't realize when He came and stood beside me. After a while a realized someone looking at my face, I turned and saw him staring hard at me...he didn't turn his gaze away even when he saw me looking at him. I looked in his eyes and was caught up in the trance AGAIN. I don't know how long we stood there looking at each other. It felt as if he could look straight through my eyes into my soul. After a while I broke the trance and started to move towards the door but before I could get out I heard his voice saying to me something, freezing me on my way. He said

"When exactly are you giving up ignoring me...!! "