You're still the one (Niall Horan fanfiction)

chapter 5

JAMIE'S POV-

He hadn’t wanted me, yet again. All the feelings from that night came flooding back. I let my hand fall from behind his neck and I turned away. I felt his eyes on me, and he lifted up my chin with his hand. I was fighting back tears and felt about ready to slap him across the face. He stared into my eyes and looked shocked. I placed my hands on either side of his chest and pushed back, hard. He stumbled backwards and went to protest but I just couldn’t bare hear him speak, I interrupted.

   “How stupid of me to think you’d ever want me again” My heart broke as those words slipped from my mouth. I couldn’t look at him anymore. I couldn’t make myself take my eyes off the ground and look at him. I knew I was close to breaking. He couldn’t be here anymore, I couldn’t do it. I finally made my feet move and I walked towards the front door, and opened it completely. Without looking at him, I turned around and walked past him into my bedroom as fast as I could, and I slammed my door. I paused and waited to hear something – anything. About 10 seconds later I heard the door shut behind him as he left the apartment. As soon as the door shutting reached my ears, I lost it. My knees went weak and I feel against the door sliding all the way down to the ground. I wrapped my arms around my knees and buried my face in between my knee caps and bawled my eyes out. I couldn’t believe it, I had let myself get venerable AGAIN! Why do I let myself get so stupid around him, he doesn’t love you Jamie.  I cried harder into my knees, my head was pounding. I crawled across my bedroom floor into the bathroom. I gripped onto the sink to lift myself up and when I did I stared at myself in the mirror. My eyes were red and puffy, my hair was all over the place – the towel fell off when he was chasing me. I had snot on my cheeks and I remembered I had work in just under an hour. Images of Niall's face when we were about to kiss flashed into my mind. He looked confused and disgusted. The face I will never be able to get out of my mind. I could feel my stomach twisting and turning, I turned to the toilet and threw my guts up. I cursed loudly and screamed. i grabbed my packet of smokes and headed into the kitchen.

I went into the pantry and pulled out a bottle of tequila and began drinking straight from the bottle.

I stuck the smoke in between my lips and inhaled for a long time. I realised I was on orange juice top and panties still so I stripped and chucked them across the room. I was now naked dancing around my apartment. I walked into my room and found a red lace g-string and a white singlet that showed basically my whole stomach and the g-string only covered the front of my bits, my bum was on full display, but I didn’t care. I walked out into the open room again, when I heard a knock at the door. IF THAT’S NIALL I WILL SHOOT MYSELF.  I pranced my way towards the door and opened it up. It was Dustin. I smiled and clumsily lent up against the door frame.

   “Well, Hello there sexy boy.” I giggled to myself, taking another swig of tequila out bottle.

   “Jamie, are you... drunk?” He did a really sexy half lip smirk.’. I giggled, reached forwards and grabbed a fist full of his shirt, pulling him inside. I slammed the door shut behind him and started giggling again. He had a huge grin on his face now. I pushed passed him and ran into the lounge. I picked up two smokes and lit one. I stuck the lit one in my mouth and walked up to Dustin. I put the non-lit one into his mouth. He looked at me curiously as got on my tippy toes and connected the two by the tip and sharply inhaled, enflaming mine and now his. He smirked taking a huge inhale of it, and then when he blew out the smoke he made patterns in it.

I stood there and had a grin from ear to ear. “Well, you’ve clearly done this before!” He started laughing and stepped closer towards me.

   “There’s a lot that you don’t know about me, Jamie. Things you wouldn’t wanna know, scary things...” He trailed off, walking into the kitchen and blowing out more smoke patterns. I was stuck there, like a stick in the mud. He smirked at me and I then ran full pelt and jumped into his back. He continued walking like I wasn’t even there. He pulled out different types of alcohol.