I just had my first fight with the love of my life, Miss Piggy. She screamed at me for half an hour - no exaggeration. I should have knew that she putting extra bacon on her pizza would be a mistake. It cost me an extra $3 too, which is a ridiculous price for a few extra pieces of bacon. The saddest thing is that Miss Piggy is a crispier piece of pig than the bacon on the pizza.
I sat down on the seat on her porch after she slammed the door in my face. I whipped out my iPhone 2 and opened up Snapchat. No new snaps of course, so I decided to update my story. I take a selfie and captioned it with "just had my first fight with bae". Hopefully someone will notice it and have sympathy for me.
I looked at Miss Piggy's story and saw that she had posted a 100 second story of her juicy rump. Man, I would cook that booty up in seconds, it looked so delicious. I'd carve her up and stick her on a pizza anyday.
*CRASH*
I jumped up suddenly at the startling sound. I could heard pig squeals coming from inside the kitchen. I tried to get inside, but Miss Piggy had locked the door.
"I can do this. Swagflakes give you strength" I breathed to myself, kicking down the door.
Miss Piggy was in the kitchen, pulling a piece of crisped flesh off her backside that had obviously cooked too much when she was tanning.
"Miss Piggy, oh my god... Are you okay?!" I asked, rushing to her side to see if I could help.
She whimpered in response, trying to tear the skin off herself. "I need an ambulance."
I nodded straight away, pulling out my iPhone 2 again. I dialed triple 0 put didn't call the number. There was something I needed to ask her before making the call that could save her life. She didn't know this yet, but there was something that had been playing on my mind ever since she messaged me on MSN. I know that was only this morning, but it was so important. I couldn't live with myself if she died and didn't know what had been going through my mind.
"Miss Piggy... Can I ask you something?" I asked nervously.
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AUTHOR'S NOTE
HEY GUYS SORRY FOR TAKING 9 MONTHS TO UPDATE BUT I NEED YOU TO ALL KEEP THE #livinlykaozzie HASHTAG ALIVE BECAUSE IT IS SO IMPORTANT TO SPREAD AWARENESS ON THIS ISSUE.
LIKE, COMMENT AND FAVOURITE THE STORY
IF YOU LOVED THIS CHAPTER, THEN GUESS WHAT PETE IS GOING TO ASK MISS PIGGY!!
