Single » lashton

03 | studio

03

luke hemmings :: same time as last chap

I heard a giggle coming from my friend across the table from me and when I looked up he had a giant grin on his face and was blushing lightly, I simply rolled my eyes and continued to scroll through my twitter, knowing he wouldn't answer me if I asked anyhow. I had spent many hours trying to know his secrets but it was worthless. Another giggle and I was about to hit him but instead decided to stand up and stretch, upon hearing my back crack I stood upright in place, "Weell, nice chat but I'm afraid that we have a studio session now."

The black haired boy looked up at me with a sheepish grin, "Damn... Where does the time go?' I rolled my eyes and and bumped his arm with my elbow lightly, yet though he wasn't paying much attention he still fell sideways into the wall, sliding down slowly, "Uhm, ow?" I held out a hand, which he grabbed and pulled him up and we started walking towards the studio room from the canteen.

Around ten minutes into the session we were just strumming guitars and shouting random shit aimlessly, "C'mon Luke, think! The first song went so great! We were in here for like 20 minutes, what's wrong?" I looked towards my friend and sighed, "I've no idea Seb's, I just feel like I have no inspiration to do anything or... Write anything."

Sebastian, or Seb for short, just laughed and twirled the pen around in his fingers, "What about your new chick? What's her name... Kayleigh or whatever." I smiled a little at the mention of her but then sighed and rubbed my hands on my face, groaning a little before opening my eyes and looking at the pale boy with green eyes in front of me, "I miss Ashton."

It was as if the whole world went quiet and just stopped when I uttered that out, and it had slipped, I had no intention of actually admitting that to any normal human being but yet, there it was. My high-school love had been running on and off in my mind for the past three or so years and it was creating havoc in not only my every day life, but also my love life too.

Thinking of my first official song made me think of him and I can hardly control the sadness that swirls inside of me when he manages to wriggle his way into my thoughts. It's always like a wave of depression comes crashing over my brain consistently, but it can either come as soon as it comes or it stays for a while.

I used to sleep around a lot to get rid of him from my mind, to try move on. I would get drunk and sleep with any guy or girl I could, yet around two years ago when I met my current girlfriend, Kayleigh, she helped me clean up my act and move on as much as she could, I just needed to do it on my own and I felt writing a song was perfect. So my first big and popular song, "single" was written for Ashton, yet when people asked I could just say it was for Kayleigh, the beauty that she was.

She was everything that anyone could ever want, funny, beautiful, absolutely stunning and I found myself getting lost in her eyes from time to time, and she was just so down to earth, yet I still found myself thinking of Ashton when I held her hand. How much I wished Ashton was here beside me on a red carpet or when I was just at home cuddled on a couch with Kayleigh watching a movie.

And I hated it.

I hated that I knew that she deserved someone who could love her and only her, but with every step I took forward into the road to forgetting Ashton, I took two steps back when I saw a picture of him, or someone uttered the name, and it was annoying.

He hurt me so badly, yet the more I thought about it, I also hurt him quite a lot that day by leaving things the way I did. Maybe I just needed closure, maybe I needed to see him once more and end things right, but then what if all my feelings came back? Would I feel claustraphobic and have a panic attack? Or would I power through and be fine?

I wanted to answer all these questions oh so badly, yet instead I just picked up the pen and started writing, finishing a mere half an hour later, "I'm calling this one Leaving Tonight."

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As previously mentioned, all of Luke's songs will be from The Neighbourhood, so these songs do exist and are amazing songs!

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