"That was awful." Harry murmured as he fell onto his bed. He threw his glasses onto the foot of the bed and sighed.
The whole time Louis stayed distant, only talking briefly with Lauren. Harry only managed to get two sentences out of the boy. It broke him to see the boy he loved like that.
Camila sat next to him and put her shoulder on his.
"I think you should tell him." She mumbled and looked up at him.
He scoffed. "Yeah, and have him hate me forever."
"He loves you, Harry. He'd be so relieved to know you're alive."
He shook his head. He loved Louis. He wasn't going to hurt him anymore then he already was. Tears were starting to form in his eyes. Crying was all he seemed to be doing lately.
"Go to bed, Mila." He shuddered.
"I'm not going to leave you like this." She said harshly.
"Please go to bed!" He yelled, feeling stressed.
She looked at him in hurt but got up anyways. She halted at the doorway and hesitated before turning back to face him. "Don't let him go." She whispered with a sad face.
She closed the door behind her, leaving Harry alone. He shuddered as he felt the cool breeze from outside come in through his window. He stood up and looked outside. The moon was shining down at him, making his pale face glow brightly. He closed the window gently and frowned when he saw his reflection glaring back at him on the glass. He took out his colored contacts with a bit of trouble wanting to see his emerald eyes. He tried to run his hands through his hair before realizing he didn't have his long curly hair anymore. He groaned in frustration.
He fell back into bed attempting not to cry. He would never be happy with himself. Everything he wanted was just out of reach for him. He was suffocating himself, and he couldn't save himself. This time, not even Louis could save him.
×××
"Hey, Louis. How'd it go?" Zayn asked as Louis walked into his flat.
After what happened with Harry, he couldn't stay alone. All he had done the first few days was get himself drunk, get nightmares, try to hurt himself.
Zayn just didn't feel he was safe on his own. So now Louis was living with him till he thought he was better.
The blue eyed boy shrugged and sat down across him on the sofa. Honestly, he had hated every moment.
Zayn looked at him sadly. "What happened, Lou?"
Louis played with the sleeves of his sweater. His eyes darted to the floor as he shrugged. "Camila brought a boy." He started.
The other boy looked confused. "And that bothers you..?" He said, unsurely.
"No, no. I don't mean it like that. I just, I mean-" He groaned, not finding the words to speak. "He just, um, reminded me of Harry a lot."
"How so?"
"His smile." He said simply.
"What about his smile?"
"It looked like his." He finally looked up. His eyes were teary and shining. "It was charming, comforting. It was wide and I swear he practically has his dimples. Exactly two of them, deep and round. They grew wider when he laughed."
"You miss him." Zayn stated. "You're seeing him in people."
"I know, I know. I just," He looked away and drew his knees closer to his chest. "I still wish this was another one of my nightmares. I still wish that he'd walk through that door one day and tell me that it'll all be okay. I want to feel his touch one last time, kiss him goodbye."
