A Love That Consumes

Chapter 11

I slowly open my eyes to the very bright light in this room.

I take out my journal and continue writing.

I feel empty. Is there a bright side in life? Trevor this is for you. Normally, people would write about their lover in this manner, but I'm writing about you. If you're wondering why you meant this much to me, I'm about to tell you. How did you just leave? You just randomly stopped existing in my life. You gave me faith Trevor. You were like my backbone supporting me with everything, even things you didn't really want to support me with because I was a stupid teenager.

I let out a little giggle as I remember the times that Trevor and I would make up cheesy pickup lines.

I feel like I'm suffocating. I feel like someone's drowning me and I'm fighting hard to escape but no matter how hard I try I'm sinking . Why is it harder than I imagined it to be? I have to live with the fact that you're gone. The fact that I can't hear your voice anymore makes me shiver. Why did you have to leave me so early? I can't seem to move on. It's hard, but I decided to keep fighting. I want to keep fighting for happiness because you taught me this.

My tears escape onto my journal and the words slightly smudge. I place the journal back into the drawer and wipe away my tears quickly when I hear someone coming closer.

When the footsteps seem to be approaching me, I quickly close my eyes to pretend I'm sleeping.

The last thing I need right now is pity from people.

"Well we talked to Dr. Stephan your daughter is conscious, and ready to get going home" I hear the doctor informing my mom.

"Wait, am I in a coma?" I think to myself.

"She seems to be able to get out. Her scores have increased outrageously to a five and six on our verbal and motor response scale" and with all that medical talk my question has been answered.

"Could we go see her?" my parents ask the doctor

I really don't know how I'm in more pain than they are. I mean they lost their child.

"Don't you ever think that they're faking it to support you?" My subconscious mocks me.

I ignore my subconscious because I don't need more stress and worries in my life right now.

"Lana, your parents want to see you" Dr. Bolton rushes in and informs me

"Can you please tell them I want to be alone right now?" I look away and say

"Lana they're worried about you. They just want to see how you're doing"

The amount of anger I feel inside me is unbearable. They didn't even tell me I was in a coma. How did I possibly not even notice?

I stop my thoughts when I realize the doctor was still there waiting for my answer.

"Alright let them in"

"That's great Lana" Dr. Bolton says with a huge smile on his face.

How can someone that has to deal with people dying be so optimistic all the time?

"Hey how are you holding up" my dad comes in holding my mom's hand

"I'm fine" I say and look away again.

"Lana you're ready to go home. We have a lot of things to get done. We have some papers to finish, and were leaving."

"Take a shower, and put on some nice clothes. Your aunt is coming as soon as possible coming from Florida to see us and she's bringing Abbey with her. We're heading home in an hour" I nod my head slightly not really concentrating on what she just said.

At least I'll be out of here very soon. That's all I know

...

Before I get up to take a shower, I realize something is missing.

I smell his cologne. I can smell it right next to me. It's so near yet so far. I realize I miss him. Who was that boy showing up telling me I'll be okay? I didn't even know him, but it was magical how he gave me faith. I don't recall what he said or did, but I surely remember his scent.

I want to reach out for him, but he's not there. That's when I know this was all a hallucination, but why? I want him and realize I need him here.

My thoughts are interrupted when I see a note on the edge of the bed.

I have no doubts or second thoughts about opening the note. I take the paper and slowly unfold it.

You aren't hallucinating. Wake up, and come find me. I'll be waiting for you

- Anonymous.

I feel like I'm going crazy. I'm seeing things that aren't rational. I know this is all in my head so I ignore it for now but keep it in my mind for later.

I get up with all my strength and will get myself cleaned and bet ready to go home.

"Oh Lana you're here" my dad smiles at me with those eyes of pain. I can tell he's been crying.

"Yes I'm here and I'm ready" I look at them both and they take me in and squeeze me.

"We'll make this work Lana. We always do right?" My dad has always been the one to pick us all up when we're down

"Now let's get heading home" they both say at the same time.

"Wait mom, dad I forgot something inside I'll be back in a minute"

I rush inside to get my journal from the drawer when something falls out of it .