Living With My Fate ✔(#Wattys2016)

42.Am I.... falling for him?

Hate has always been the curved blade held by heavy hands and love has been the sheath which covered it.

Beneath all my delusional hate for him, my love for him turned out to be greater.

The more I admitted this the more the tears poured and down and hit the bedsheet which soaked it up with all the undeniable and rejected sadness.

I had braced myself from his charm all along not knowing it was what kept me attracted to him.

I cried bitterly as I lay on my bed. Fort was sleeping peacefully beside me. I wanted touch him and kiss him and hear him smile as he said he loved me. But this was fantasy and They would never come true.

What had Roma done? My heart is breaking before it even started.

Fort doesn't love me.He never can .He never will.

Whatever you do...Just dont fall in love with him.

This was Pro's warning before I left. My chest panged with the ache. How did I fall for him? I shouldn't. I couldn't.

Maybe I am overreacting but whatever I felt for him increased the more I am with him. I needed to know what exactly I feel for him. Love seemed to be the answer. Being with him had been thr best and the worst memories of my life. But whatever he was however he was I couldn't go a day without seeing him without arguing with him.

I shuffled in my bed biting my lip thinking about Fort. He is messing up my heart more than my mind. The more I thought about him the more tears sprung out of my eyes. I clamped my mouth with ny hand to prevent my tears from converting into screams.

Having sex with him was no more wild and fun. It was more than just pure pleasure it was divine. It was something I didn't desire or crave but something I need.

" Fort..." I whispered

He didn't stir. His face was halcyon and innocent. I didnt want to wake him up but I needed to do something tonight. I needed to sort my feelings about Fort. It was Fort afterall. Not some ordinary human that I could pat on his back and say 'Dude I love you'

" Fort ... "

HE groaned and turned towards me. His iris were dilated as he sleepily got up

" what...." he yawned

" Fort I need to talk to Roma." I blurted.

He cocked his head towards me quirking his eyebrows

" Roma..? Why?" He groaned scratching his head.

" Its just about something.. I promise Just this once... " I mumbled.

" It's 3am.. What sudden work do you recal now?And it's not legal to keep going there" He yawned as he fell back to sleep.

" You are such a hypocrite! It's all fine when you go back and forth and It's illegal for me?" I asked crossing my arms

" When I go back and forth I don't disturb anyone at 3 am in the morning when there entire body is sore." He yawned and plunged back into the bed

I started crying. I have no Idea why I was crying. I was so confused about my feelings. I had strong feelings for Fort. I thought they were negetive but I am sure that they are positive and if I am honestly falling for him I needed to be prepared for the heartbreak because I can never have him. He doesn't even feel that way. I am his sex partners that's all I am and will ever be.

I slipped under my covers and my tears pulled me into sleep.

My eyes opened immediately as I saw I was lying on a smooth pink marble floor.
I got up immediately frantically looking around. There were screens everywhere showing Fort and my little flight. I saw the image carefully. His smile his appearance... His past everything attracted me to him.