The Mafia King

Chapter 45

Songs for this chapter:

Stitches by Shawn Mendes

Company by Justin Bieber

Justin's POV

It's been one long and treacherous week since I had spoken to Rose, she had ignored all my calls all week.

I had come home the next morning after she found out what I really did and she was gone. And by gone I mean she had gone back to Albuquerque. I couldn't even tell you if she had gotten back safely because she hasn't replied to any of my texts or calls.

It felt like she was torturing me for lying to her by making me feel like she wasn't safe. I have never missed someone so much in my life, my body is in loss of comfort and I constantly feel cold. Nothing could of wounded me more than Rose cutting me from her life.

It feels like Rose wasn't even a real person, as if she was all just a figure of my imagination. As if she was never even here.

I had made my way back to Vegas a few days after Rose had left, I didn't want to depress my family with my sadness.

I stood on my balcony in Vegas of my sky high apartment watching as the Sin City was lit up below me.

I let out a sigh pulling my cigarette packet from my pocket, placing a cancer stick in my mouth I lit it with my customised lighter.

Taking a long, slow drag from the cigarette I closed my eyes feeling the stress relief wash through me.

A warm breeze ran over my body and through my hair sending my long locks flying over my face. I didn't have the energy to move it as I flicked some burned tobacco from my cigarette.

I stuck my free hand in my pocket feeling a prick on my hand. Frowning slightly I fished out the mysterious object, my frown disappeared as I found a ticket to Albuquerque. 

I had bought the plane ticket last night for the quickest flight there hoping I could successfully win Rose back.

But I knew deep down in my fragile heart that I wouldn't be allowed near her, I decided to drown myself in alcohol instead.

The evidence of my actions last night were still in my apartment, glasses of whiskey scattered on the table, beer cans on the floor and over the couch. I was a mess.

I didn't know heartache was literal until I felt it myself, it's like a constant aching, wrenching pain in your chest that won't go away.

Almost like anxiety but more with a gnawing pit in your stomach twisting and knotting over and over. I'm mentally and emotionally exhausted with the feeling.

It feels like my heart is a fireplace, the wood is wet, cold and dead without the fire to ignite it into flames. But with Rose it's dry, bright and alive.

When she first left my standing alone in the forest that night, my heartache felt like a fire that burned out all the oxygen in my body leaving me with nothing, lifeless and empty.

But now it's like a thick layer of ice cooling everything in my body to a chill, a reminder of the pain I felt before so the fire couldn't respark again.

I suppose you could say it feels like I've been kicked in the stomach as that's the closest thing to the feeling I could think of, but still that doesn't do it justice.

I wanted to know if Rose maybe felt the same way I was feeling, but at the same time I didn't having to experience such neglect and hurt.

I hated the thought of her couped in her room laying in her sheets all day not wanting to see anybody. To lay in the dark with the blinds closed not wanting to see an inch of bright light, wanting to drown herself in the dark.