Attack on Titan (fanfic)

long time no see eh?

Sorry I've been so long since I updated life and shit has been hard for the past 3 years but I'm finally happy and healthy and I think I can go back to writing what truly makes my life worth while. So without further ado ~

I got up finally, the sun rose beaming into my eyes. I threw everything off of me I changed I put my uniform on and I walk out the door trying to figure out what happened last time, what happened. Last time... I got into my room, when got a shoe thrown at my face from my friend. What happened all those months ago what happened or where was I. what did I do, where did Jackie go? where did everyone I knew go? where did Levi go? was he outside the walls...was he still in Camp? I can't remember being trapped in that basement. the past 4 months, really knocked me out of everything I can't understand. what will happen next but I hope it's good. I hope I can speak my mind and I hope that I know what will happen, ever since everyone found out that I'm Different I have powers everything's been strange everything. everything out to get me, everything not certain everything dangerous. As I stand up and open the door the breeze hits my face, finally. I have escaped where I've been, not really escaped I just finally figured out the door was open. 4 months in here thinking the door was locked and not to opened. Not really, not opening it I was afraid if I opened it someone would come out and punch me in the face but you know 2 months of being scared and finally facing your fears because you're too hungry to eat the bread that you found on the floor a month ago. wow, I'm pathetic. This is more my speed where is everyone, everything is abandoned everything is gone. I walk outside finally after regretting momentarily not leaving the shadow shelter I was stuck in the past 4 months. I look around and see a boarded-up wall maybe someones inside, Levi...... Oh how I hope he's okay even after what happened. Erin my sweet friend I hope he is safe and not being exploited by the other squads, god I'm an idiot. I lost everyone after what I said after what I did. wow, what's wrong with me I always wonder what was wrong with me even since I was born, even after since the wall fell. when I joined the survey corps. I continue to the door knock, see for any movement hearing for any sound. I didn't really need to go up to the door since I could hear what was going on from where I was. since I left that basement all my senses have increased by 10 because I finally have gained control over my power. I can control everything now, my hearing my sight, I can zoom in over a hundred miles, everything is perfect now. except the loss, the emptiness, me missing Levi, me missing Erin, Jackie, Michelle, every one. all my ex-friends everyone I knew everyone I loved. I'm alone now they found different things but I still crave their embrace. hopefully I can find Levi and Eren and everyone hopefully they're outside the wall. 4 months...wow what a time. what can happen in 4 months. everything can happen in 4 months. I make my way outside the camp, to the doors. The broken.. broken doors. I can hear the Titans, they've broken in the city, more than half of the city has been evacuated from what I can hear, from what I can tell, from the footsteps I can hear most aren't from people. most are from the Titans the large stumbling heavy footsteps. I hear in the distance they scare me but I must be brave. I know I'm alone. I think I'm alone. I hear shuffling in the the room that I have just passed. I go back to the room that I have just passed, thinking maybe someone's in there, maybe someone can help me, maybe I won't be so alone. I kick the door down my strength is more than I thought it would be. I chuckle a bit "that was crazy, that's insane."I say to myself in my head. I enter the room cautiously using my training. I check Each corner, each way, I look for everything but no sign of where I heard the noise. strange..., what's throwing me off? why don't I know where it's coming from? am I imagining things and did they drug me, has it not been 4 months? I'm so confused on what's Happening. I see a calendar, I walk up to it. I get reassured that it has been 4 months, since I remember the last time I wrote that scribble. Time to me is nothing but a fantasy, nothing. time passes and goes but I never feel it. I never die.. I probably never die? I may? Maybe I never die? I hope I never die but then I do I wish I die. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to lose everyone maybe they're dead. I hope they're not dead. I go back to the main objective maybe someone's here maybe, I'm not alone. I pace, a hand grabs me through the back door i scream in my head. not really, it's in my head. it's not real noise. it's what I'm thinking the noise. I'm thinking. I turn into a dragon a black haze fazes me. I use my wings to pry the Titans hand open and Escape, jumping onto the roof, fear breathing, scared. I look up, the Titans face-to-face with me its not one of the ones I know it's not eren. it's not any of the ones that I know, not even the bad ones that I would be fine seeing right now knowing I've known them. I  scream again in my head but no noise. I'm so scared, 4 months in that dungeon being quiet hearing everyone leave not knowing what's happening. I hear the Titan crash the buildings behind me, I keep running. I hear him crashing behind me, crashing, stomping then I stop. I look around everything's gone, everything's broken. the boulder that once guarded the door moved. I wonder, I think, I Ponder. I wonder, what did that? if erens okay? if Levi's okay? tears stream down my face as I'm grabbed and pulled back again by the Titan more around me, more there. I have none of my gear, nothing I'm alone, scared. I jump, I fly with my wings I plunge into the sky flying far, far away from the city. abandoned and broken flying to the forest on to the tall Forrest of tumbling trees. I used to practice on with my squad, maybe just maybe they're here, maybe they're hiding like we discussed many months ago, maybe. we knew the walls wouldn't hold but not so soon. it wasn't soon to me it was like a day but why. They could have used me, my strength, my powers and I wasn't there, wasn't there cuz I was too dumb to open the door. "Why..." I see the darkness. the nights coming, days following Sunsets. I watch it, it calms me the only thing that calms me at this point. Until I can find my friends. I shuffle my wings side to side and sit down. Then turn back into my human form. I stroke my hair back behind my ears trying to feel the breeze, the breeze always have calmed me. always made me feel better even when I was a child. when the walls fell down. I was the most calmed one, just helping. just helping everyone get safe. the breeze called me, nature always calmed me. maybe that's why I have this power to connect me more than a teacher. ever since then, I've been so connected to Nature. I know when Titans are coming cuz I can feel the trees, how they move. how they get torn down by their massive strength. even these large tumbling trees. I sit now. I scratch the bark just to understand. what I haven't done in the past 4 months. what I could have done in the past 4 months. everything I should have done. I curl my legs into my chest and lay against the tree, the branches the bark pressing against me. uncomfortable but not to me. it's normal, it's fine. it's better than that dark abandoned basement. why was I in there? I can't remember nothing. I remember nothing, where are they? I close my eyes and then lay against the tree, shuffling myself to be more comfortable. we'll at least as comfortable as I could be I exhale and "say I'll find them."