You know that feeling when you're staring off into space and it just hits you.... "WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?!?!?!?!"
Yeah I've been experiencing that this past week or two as it came on the heels of a slight bout of depression (I actually didn't realize I was depressed until I stumbled upon a depression characteristics sheet and I was like "Ohhhhh that's what's wrong with me!". I despise this feeling with such a fury, I'm surprised I haven't just scared it away...
As a teenager who finished high school last year and having done (in my mind) almost nothing spectacular since then... I feel like I should be at a different point in my life. Like I should be better, wiser, more secure, more confident. But that's not the case.
I recently talked to one of my absolute best friends who lives in Thailand who is about 4 years older than me. She chuckled when I told her my dilemma. "You sound just like me." She smiled through the phone. She reassured me that the fear of plateauing never goes away but we all learn how to combat it.
She also told me, "You're still extremely young. You will get better with time."
This gave me such relief. Now I knew I wasn't doing something wrong. I wasn't crazy. I wasn't immature. I was just growing. Something like an emotional puberty. Sorta like evolving from Igglybuff to Jigglypuff, if I could ever be compared to such adorableness. Or like going from a children's bike with a huge cushiony seat to a crazy speed bike with no suspension whatsoever. Ok enough comparisons...
So this triggered my next "Duh!" moment. We're all evolving. Always. We always feel the danger of plateauing because we are constantly pushing to the next level. And that's ok. That's how we are designed. So I'll see y'all on the next level!
