The QuirKy Diary

Life Sucks

^ The title is my quote.

Life sucks - Sabrina Tumapang

• Friends are pissed because I hang out with Shahzaib

• Blamed for Shahzaib's behaviour

• Being told that I'm not needed anymore

• Seeing Lachlan and Shahzaib cutting themselves for no reason

• Seeing friends get hurt in general

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It's all because of me.

I remember my first day in RCPS, everyone was so happy and I was hoping so badly that I was gonna have a happy life here. I did, but it had a few ups and downs.

This year, my friends and I have become distant and I've been drawn closer to the boys..

The boys are just so accepting and caring, don't get ne wrong the girls are too but they only do that if something special happens, the boys are there the whole way..

I feel sorry for my best friend Sietara, because she's been rejected by me so many times because I've been spending time with her worst enemy AKA Shahzaib..

Lachlan cuts because I 'taught' him to..

Shahzaib cuts whenever I get mad at him..

RCPS seems like it could do well without me.. I really wanna have those dreams tonight where all those three fairies from past, present and future come...

I wanna see what would happen if I chose not to move to RC..

I want to see how people would react if I just left..

I wanna know their lives without me..
I'm the one to blame for my friends being so distant from me.. Shahzaib being distant.. my family being distant..

Just 2 mins ago I was so close to cutting all over again. Unfortunately, I only got up to the point of holding the knife and crying. Then finally just dropping the knife down..